One bad apple....
Been trying to think of a title for this post... One bad apple..."No more Mrs. Welcome Wagon"
I am seriously BUMMED today...
I have always been very open about my life as an expat.
I have always tried to be as helpful as possible....
helping other expats getting adjusted...
I was let down in a really big way by someone I went out of my to help...
Its my own fault really... I put myself out there to people I don't know.
Thank GOODNESS it was only myself who was professionally mortified ...
I think the reason I do this is because I WISH I had had someone to help me through the transition of moving to another country... advice.. telling me all of my mixed emotions are normal.
Many of us expats go through this identity crisis...
Yes, you may have had a good job at home... you may have a good education.. you may have had many great possibilities at HOME...
but that means nothing when you get to a foreign country...
you play by their rules.
You can't tell people how awesome you are... you have to show them.
Unfortunately, we as expats have to start in jobs we feel are beneath us...
I thought it was bad for me... but then I have met Dr.s scraping gum off of floors.. just to get into the "system".
All of my "old" ex pat friends can laugh about some of the really horrible jobs we have had over here... just trying to get our foot in the door.
We have all ended up in jobs we are content in...
although they may not be our dream jobs...
we know how lucky we are..
What I have learned from this bad experience is that all of these "GROWING PAINS" of moving to a new country are probably necessary to truly appreciate how long you have come.
The way I feel today.. because of one "bad apple" -my days of helping random strangers are over....
I hope this is a feeling which will pass... but I am not so sure.
fool me once..shame on you... fool me twice... shame on me
Sorry... just had to vent...
Comments
The highest form of wisdom is kindness, and compassion is a kind of love. Why would you want to stop those feelings?
Don't let the other person stop you from trying to help, it is that person's problem (and right) not to want your help, it's not YOUR problem...
I'm sure you will help others, but this can amybe give you the resolve to have clear boundaries that you don't have to feel guilty about?
I TOTALLY know what you mean about starting over. I'm having that issue with feeling inadequate here in Norway despite my status back in the States...I have a masters degree in curriculum development, a bachelors degree in English literature and a Washington state teaching certificate but I can't teach her until I pass the Bergenstest which is notoriously difficult and all together nightmarish. Awesome that I spent six years and hundreds of thousands of dollars on an education that doesn't matter a whole lot here. Ugh.
Thanks for making me feel like less of a goon...at least not alone in my struggle to acclimate professionally!
hang in there. <3
I guess we have to assume that this person is struggling with his/her own ex-pat s**t (know it well!) and maybe will soon realize his/her mistake and work to make it up to you? I hope so, anyway!
You sure did sum up the ex-pat experience well, and I thank you! Chin up, girlie girl! You're a good person to try to help people. And it's summer!
p.s. How is Bjørn doing? Hope all is well with his health.
Peace. and you can VENT its your blog!
I'm so sorry you got one bad apple. Please don't let it stop you from helping others who really do appreciate your help very much.
Ha det bra.