Ouch.. 15 min.. can be pretty painful.

Wow... my 15 min of "fame" has brought some unexpected surprises...

Who knew there so many people out there IRRITATED
not only by me on the HHI.. but by the way I write.
Some TV forum sites have linked to my blog...
I found a site with comment. after. comment. after. comment.
basically saying what a bitch I am..
how we had to go $200.000 over budget to accommodate my requests for stupid things like a garbage disposal.. air conditioning etc..


Really, I know I shouldn't take all of this personally..but .. well.. I do.

Some of the "best" comments were things like...
I was 40 years old & I needed to get over leaving my parents... what about HIS family?..
  my POOR husband having to put up with me... He should have left me in the states.
Sticking it to my poor husband..and forcing him into building me this house...

People making judgements about my marriage over a 20 min. STAGED TV show?
ummm OK..

Do I really need to defend myself?
... probably not to all of you who "know" me.. or have been following me for a while..

Lets cut the shit shall we?

Does anyone in their RIGHT MIND think when we decided to move over here..
I was worried about a frigging garbage disposal? - & AIR CONDITIONING in Norway?!

REALLY??...
The producers asked us for some things our house had
which most Norwegian houses did not.. which were... you guessed it.
a garbage disposal.. & a heat pump / an air conditioner...

When we decided to move to Norway  I was DEVASTATED...
I was put in the position of leaving what I considered EVERYTHING.. my family..
my friends.. my job..so that my husband could be part of our family again...

I was worried taking my American Children & moving them to a foreign country... of taking them away from the Grandparents who basically helped me raise them while my husband was out at sea 6-9 months of the year.

Moving to a country where I knew that my education would mean nothing.. & having to learn the Norwegian system..pretty much on my own.
Not only are you learning EVERYTHING all over again..
you are doing it in a foreign language...


I was worried about quiting my job in the US.. and becoming a stay at home mother.. with no friends.. no one who could understand how hard the move was on myself & my then 6 year old.. (Dane)...
with a husband STILL at sea.. LOOKING for a job on land...

I spent my first year here pretty much alone..doing what was best for our family.
I don't think there are many of the people making the snarky comments who would/could do what I did...for the good of my family..
There are alot of people with opinions on how you should act.. what you should do when you move to a foreign country... soak it in...
live in a charming little Norwegian house in a charming little village.. etc...


If you are going to be in a country as an expat for a year or two... I totally agree...

But when you are moving away from YOUR COUNTRY ... YOUR FAMILY... & EVERYTHING that is familiar to you FOREVER.. it is a totally different story.


To all of the people so quick to judge.. I guess if you believe everything you see on TV.. you may think I was out of my mind...

But keep this in mind..

When we agreed to do the show, we had never seen it...
I had no idea what type of angle they would take on things..

I had no idea how they would edit things...
I did keep the thought in mind not to say anything nasty or unkind about the houses we went through.
 to be honest.. I didn't think they would be able to splice it together to really make me look like such a brat...
There were several times I said.. boy.. I bet you think I am difficult.. because what I was "complaining" about was soo crazy.
My whining about the garbage disposal in every house?
 - I was giggleing everytime I had to bring it up...
The producers TOLD me to say it.. OVER & OVER & OVER...

I am just lucky they cut out the ice maker.. .my lord.. these people would eat me alive.


So yes we built the house.. & we moved to Norway from a great neighborhood in Kansas City.. but that was about it.


For all of those who think the show is totally REAL
& I am a TOTAL DEMANDING Bitch..

Do you really think people buy a house in one day? Really?----

I would like to say.. please stop chopping me up in little pieces..
 but i guess they will have a field day with this too...


We did the show because we thought it would be fun to show our friends in the US where we live... & get our families on film...

I apologize for coming off so obnoxious..

As far as my sucky blog?
I am not a professional writer.. nor do I pretend to be.
I started my blog to keep my friends & family in the US updated...
To remember important things...
& to help other expats moving over or thinking about moving over here.
Not to hurt  anyone.. and certainly not to be attacked.
Sigh.. thanks for letting me get that out there.

Comments

AMEN!

While we have never met, I can agree that even going to a different country for a few weeks or a few months is challenging enough...much less to move there!

That is the downside to "reality" TV and how it is edited. And did they say you were a "professional writer?" Ummmm....it's a blog. With fun stories and photos.

And for the record, I love your blog. I may not comment all the time, but I enjoy it.

:)
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rochelle said…
I'm sorry that happened. You have an amazing life that I love getting to read about! Don't let the haters rain on your parade.
Unknown said…
Thanks girls... :-)
I know I shouldn't let this bother me... & I should have just stopped reading when they got really mean. :-(
M said…
you know, there is just ONE word to describe these people talking about you and is: ENVY

Keep writing the way you do ;) as long as they talk about you, means you are the important one ;)
I've been reading your blog for some time now and never thought the words spoiled or brat described you. I love reading about your family and life in Norway. As a military family we know what it's like to move and miss our family and the sacrifices we make to be with our husbands. You are amazing to be doing it all in the civilian world. And I loved the show, it was fun to see you and your family after reading for so long here.
sues2u2 said…
Wow, Teresa! I truly love your blog & think you are wonderful. I did not feel like you were bratty on the show but maybe these people have never looked for a house? I mean Hubby & I had lots of things we were looking for & we went through several homes.

You certainly did not come across as a spoiled brat to me. I thought you were real & genuine although it did seem a few times like you were laughing sometimes @ yourself & your husband in regard to things you were looking @.

Okay, I've written way too much but, I love your blog. I love the way you write (sassy & fun). Just remember that you have tons of supporters.
Audreya said…
I'm sorry people are being so obnoxious. Anyone who watches "reality" / documentary type TV and can't see how the shows are pieced together to create a certain angle, well, there's just not a lot I can say about them. :-) It was apparent to me in the first couple of minutes that they were really going to play up the "spoiled American" angle, but I didn't think for a second that was your normal disposition. And even if I had, I wouldn't devote any of my time to trashing you on message boards. Can you say "lame"?!

I love your blog and your pictures and hope you won't let other people's silliness deter you!
MommyLisa said…
REALLY??? Don't people get that its staged? I had the same issue with a news story I did a couple weeks ago where people took me seriously about Christmas lights. BLEAH.

I totally thought you were cute and that the "demanding" was all in the announcer, not YOUR behavior.

Sucky. Sorry.

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2011/01/12/good-question-when-should-christmas-lights-come-down/
Sandy said…
((hugs)) I love your blog and always look forward to seeing your posts. You are a bright, funny, loving woman.
I think you did one of the hardest things by moving so very far away from your family. Please, I moved 13 hrs and it was a killer until I adjusted to all the surroundings.
Keep being yourself.
:)
Betsy said…
Wow, how obnoxious! I did think they made you look high-maintenance, but did not think that was a true reflection of you. And even if it were, who cares, I'm a little high-maintenance too. I agree with an earlier commenter that they are jealous! One final thought, why would you not want your home in Norway to have all the comforts of your home in KS? I've lived overseas too, and I know that I missed my dishwasher, disposal (that was a biggie for me), and a/c for the few weeks when it was scorching hot, and I only had to live there for two years. It was fine for two years, but for an extended period of time, I would have not been happy.
jewelstreet said…
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. If people had a half a mind, they would know there is just so much to living so far away from 'home'. I've never even been off the east coast, and I know that. And, 'bad guys' always make good tv. Sorry you had to be the bad girl.

Btw, I've always loved your blog and the way you write. I imagine it's how talk in real life too.
Frizzy said…
I've been reading your blog for 2 years now and I've always been impressed with all that you've overcome. As an Officer's wife I understand all that you've been through in moving to a foreign country, finding your way on your own and learning to make their customs and traditions your own including the every day living.

I think I've said this before, anyone that thinks they can do it better and with less challenges should sign up for the show and do just that.
Tezzie said…
For what it's worth...I think you're awesome. In no way have I EVER thought you obnoxious...and I know exactly how it feels to move to a new country, having to learn it all over again , and missing some of the things we can tend to take for granted when we've only ever lived in the same place all our lives (and wow, to go through it with young kids has to be tough! I can't even begin to understand the struggle it must've been for you!) Boo to negative people, I say...
Tressa, I watched the rerun last night, which I thought was a pretty quick turnaround?
I never thought you came off as a demanding bitch, in my humble opinion you are a woman who knows what she wants, I see that as a plus!
One of the reasons I was drawn to your blog in the first place was because of your honesty. You have a great sense of humor and call it like you see it....PLUS PLUS!
Lisa said…
I'm a fairly new follower, and I haven't seen the show (though I'd like to), but I can say this: people who have nothing better to do than cut you down because of a tv show aren't worth the energy to care what they say!

I can't imagine picking up and moving to a foreign country that speaks English, much less somewhere that I couldn't communicate with everyone! I'm impressed by your willingness to do that for your family, I can't say for sure that I would!
Donna said…
I still haven't been able to see the show over here in Jordan, so I can't speak to how they made you look.

But - everything in this post is spot on. When you move yourself away from everything familiar, and start over, that shows a bravery and devotion to family that is unfathomable to people who haven't done it.

I love your blog! We move every three years, and I always compare myself to you. I wonder: which is harder? To move to a new place and set down roots forever, knowing your kids will be from that new place, tying you to it forever? Or moving like I do, never setting down roots, but knowing you will eventually return "home"?

I've been reading your blog forever, and you definitely do your share of complaining - that's what I like, the fact that you're honest about the ups AND the downs of living abroad. Your complaining has NEVER seemed bitchy to me - it always seems appropriate to the situation. And you balance it with such a joy in where you find yourself each day.

Ignore the mean people, please, and keep blogging.

Oh, and by the way - we don't have a garbage disposal OR a dishwasher in Jordan. Or an ice maker. It's amazing how much you can miss having things like that.
edith said…
Hey I just found your blog a few days ago, unrelated to the show you were on. I think you're great! Funny, brave and a fine writer... so there.
Unknown said…
Thank you Edith.. xx:-)
I know I shouldn't let this stuff bother me.. but..
Ok, so I'm totally behind and haven't see the show or heard any of this. But when I read your post I felt sory for you. I can't imagine moving my kids from the US. What you are doing is amazing. Screw what everyone else thinks about you. Live YOUR life:)
Debie Napoleon said…
Oh...I love reading your blog and think that people who live in glass houses....

No one knows how they would be on a show like this, but everyone wants to beleive they would be "better" that anyone else they see. Well - truth is - probably not.

Screw them and their nastiness. They probably don't like puppies either..lol
Kacie said…
People who haven't moved across the world have no idea how hard that transition is, and how much grief there can be involved. In some ways it's like experiencing a death, because the transition is THAT BIG. But... they won't understand that.
KCSherri said…
Hello, from a fellow Kansas Citian! I know exactly what site you're talking about, because that's how I found your blog. If you know anything about that site, it's filled with snark - it's almost as if the meaner the comment, the better! Don't let it get you down!

We were approached by the producers of "Bang For Your Buck" at HGTV about a year ago; they wanted to film an episode about basement remodeling in Kansas City. We had just gone through an extensive 5-month remodel.

Because I read "THAT SITE", I knew I'd be skewered alive! I couldn't handle the snarky comments, so we declined...so see, you've got GUTS to put yourself out there!

Hang in there - You've shown tremendous courage by first, moving to Norway from KC (I'd never be able to do that), and second, putting yourself out there for criticism...but let it roll.

Blessings!
Susanne said…
I have been a silent reader for a long time, but now I have to speak up...lolol. I absolutely love your blog and and I loved the show...thought it was funny. I am a German living in Texas now and I totally understand what you went through when you moved to Norway, I felt the same when I moved to the States for my husband, you really felt like you left your whole life and everything you loved behind....
I think you are great and have a beautiful family. And I love Norway, we have a very good friend who lives close to Oslo.....
Don't worry about the stupid comments, people are just jelous of your great life and the beautiful house.
Greetings from an expat in Texas.
Ha det,
Susanne
Susanne
Corinne said…
Commenters on internet sites can be the worst of the worst, it's like anonymity gives people free reign to act like dickwads, and be rude a-holes without thinking.

Anway, I know you, and I don't think you're some sort of raging bitch. I think you're pretty damn awesome.
Editor said…
It's hard not to let those things get to you, and hopefully it helps you to write about it. The good thing is, that you are also getting a lot of positive feedback that helps balance out the nasties :)
La.. said…
Hi Tressa! I think the people making these comments are by envidia.Gente bitter and bad. You're a smart woman, beautiful and a nice life.
I hope to meet in person next time. Keep writing.
A big hug


Maria
lisa said…
1. I think it took guts to go on the show.... no one would look perfect. I would hate for someone to follow me around while I shop for jeans much less a house. Who knows how I would look!?!?!

2. U blog is great because it is real.... just you

3. People have too much time on their hands to put the effort to complain.

4. Glad you can vent. You have to do what is right for your family and happiness....

:) cheers!
Urban Earthworm said…
Some people just have nothing better to do than spread negativity. If only they'd devote their energy to something positive.
Molly said…
Tressa,
I didn't think you seem like a demanding "B" at all! Matter of fact, when you were saying that people were commenting about that all I could think of was "what?". People who watch TV, especially "reality-type" TV and think that it isn't edited to make the show as entertaining as possible are completely clueless!!! If you had just stood around saying nothing they would be saying that you are the most boring person in the world. Whatever, some people always have ugly things to say. I am sure that there are WAY many more that throughly enjoyed the show...I know of several here in the neighborhood!
As for your blog...it is yours...you can do with it what you want and how you want. I think it is great and always look forward to reading about your lives in Norway (and looking at your beautiful pictures!)
So please keep updating your blog and don't let all the hateful people get you down!
Molly Osbourn
Brenda said…
Hi Tressa,

I have been AWOL for awhile myself - but in just catching up and reading this post - I feel bad for you = I think you are smart, funny and a great writer!

Your love and loyalty to your family and country are wonderful human attributes - attributes which I am certain your husband loves you for. These negative people are ...... who are they - what are they - can you imagine yourself, (or anyone you know), actually sitting down and writing a negative comment on anyones blog ???? Very unhappy and mean people - so forget them !! Enjoy those who enjoy you.

I didn't get to see it and wish I could but had to end my cable bill.

Hopefully I will catch a rerun - anyway all the best to you and yours on both sides of the Atlantic.
Brenda
Nicole said…
Girl Please!!
These people need to wake up and smell that bitter YX coffee!

You are awesome!

I commend you on your bravery for all of your ventures in life. You have done more amazing things in your short 39 years on this earth than most people could ever even dream of!

You are a beautiful, smart woman/mom/wife, with precious children and an awesome husband who adores you.

You have an amazing, safe, happy life in one of the most beautiful countries in the world.
What else could anyone ask for?

If you are gonna let some losers, that obviously have nothing good going on in there on lives, get to YOU- This smart, beautiful, strong woman(!)...

Well, I'll just have to come on over to Fredrikstad and knock some sense into ya! ;-)

Keep doing what your doing sweetheart.

So many people enjoy your great writing and beautiful pictures.

You probably don't even realize how many people's lives your affecting out there in the world by just, doing what you do..

;-)
Lisa Kjellerød said…
Moving to Norway has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I admire you for making Norway work for you! Ignore all the comments, only your family and friends matter, not strangers judging you just because of a tv show!
Astrid said…
It's a great blog you have here!! I always check your for updates because I know it most likely will make me smile :)

Chin up girl!!
Unknown said…
What happened? I don't know? I am going to go and find out. I have always loved your blog. We miss you over at Communal Global. Come back soon!
Hei! I am sorry to hear what had happened to you!
Forget about all of those frustrated unhappy people writting their anonymous comments, talking about the things they have no idea about! It's very difficult to start life in another country, and thanks to you and your blog I feel I'm not alone, who struggles! More - I feel positive and full of hope that one day I will find the way that Norway will works for me too!
So please, keep on going your writting!
Hugs from Brevik, Telemark ;-)!

Sylwia
Hei! I am sorry to hear what had happened to you!
Forget about all of those frustrated unhappy people writting their anonymous comments, talking about the things they have no idea about! It's very difficult to start life in another country, and thanks to you and your blog I feel I'm not alone, who struggles! More - I feel positive and full of hope that one day I will find the way that Norway will works for me too!
So please, keep on going your writting!
Hugs from Brevik, Telemark ;-)!

Sylwia
BenLand said…
jeez....i watch house hunters all the time and i totally did not feel like you were being a b*tch?!!??
what is wrong with people?!??
i think you did a great job! try not to let stupid comments get to you..i've been reading your blog for a long time and i can tell you're a good person...

smile :)
Anonymous said…
Wow, did someone really say you were 40 and needed to get over leaving your parents? Why would you let someone like that get to you? Sounds like an upstanding person, the type whose opinion you should care about, huh? So you really love your family, and you don't want to leave your elderly parents. Yup, what a terrible person you are!

I've lived overseas, and the little things you miss pile on and can get to you. So while I thought your garbage disposal was and A/C in Norway thing was funny, I understood where you were coming from. I'm moving to Africa soon, and I plan on taking a garbage disposal with me, thanks to your HHI episode :-) It'll be a nice little luxury that'll make life there a little more bearable.

Plus, you've got to understand that a lot of the comments come out of jealousy. There you are, getting to live overseas while they're stuck at home watching it on TV. I do agree A LOT of the people on HH/HHI come off as entitled and self-absorbed, and I loathe those types of people (sometimes I have to change the channel b/c I truly can't stand to watch them), but I can honestly say you and your family didn't come off that way at all. You, your parents and husband seem like really nice, genuine people. I didn't have to change the channel to get away! I even watched it again when it was replayed in the wee hours a few hours later. Just remember a lot of people have to trash others that don't even deserve it just to make themselves feel better.
BW said…
Hi

I am just curious, how did you finance the $200K over budget? I know full well $500K in Norway doesn't get you half of what you can get in KC (I live in NY and I can still get more for my money there).

Is it too personal to ask how much you were able to put down? Did you have to sell your house in KC? What was the size of your mortgage? Basically, the show made it seem like going 40% over budget was a decision that was agony for you (as I assumed if would have been for people in a strict budget in such an expensive country). How did you do it? :-)
Lacy Kline said…
Screw all of them. Most people have no idea what it is like to move to a new country and have no idea how much something little can help you keep your sanity. For me it was a microwave and a dryer. I managed to get the micro but no dryer and I bitch about it a lot. Moving from the States to Norway is a HUGE culture shock and anything that can be done to make it easier should be done! These people are just naive and most have probably never left their hometowns. Do not feel guilty for a second. Leaving your loved ones, your identity and your country is a frightening challenge and you have done it wonderfully! Plus if they do not like your blog they do not have to read it!
Ugh - I'm so sorry, that sounds like a horrible experience! I just clicked over from your comment on Scary Mommy, so certainly haven't seen the show, but I'm sure you didn't come off that bad - the Internet is just filled with people who enjoy mocking others.
Sean and Mic said…
I have been a follower of yours for more than a year (and for the life of me, I have no idea how I stumbled on your blog- but I digress)- and I have to say screw 'em to those that dare to criticize you or your life.
I watched the re-run on my DVR on Sat night- and LOVED it!
You are great- and your kids and hubby are as adorable in the show as they are on your blog.
I have friends who live in Krisitinsand and Bergen- and I think Norway would be a great place to raise a family (expensive- but great!)- but also very different from the MidWest and leaving behind family. I think it took guts to move like you did. So, please, whatever you do, do not give up on blogging- because you have quite the following! :>)
magicdarts said…
You are completely honest, heart on the sleeve, gutsy, loyal and true to yourself , your families and friends - ignore those muppets, and hey look on the bright side a bit more web traffic isn't always a bad thing :)

I've not chucked my half of the beer mat away on the strength of this media storm -you is still my pal!!!
Anonymous said…
I just stumbled upon your blog and I think you are awesome so no worries at all about other people and their opinions..they are just that opinions.
Unknown said…
Tressa-
I saw the show. I thought you and your family were ADORABLE!! Everyone knows "reality TV" isn't real. You behaved fine!!
And I don't recall you ever being obnoxious or bitchy at all, freakin hilarious maybe, but not bitchy.

Never apologize to a bunch of miserable morons who have nothing better to do with there time then make nasty comments about people they don't know. Screw 'em all!!

And don't think on it ever again!

Jody Troken Perez
Anonymous said…
Hi Tressa! I haven't seen the show (or at least, your episode), but I have been reading your blog for 18 mths or so. I love the honesty and humor in your experiences. I've been an expat, and it looks like I *might* become the VP of Int'l Affairs AGAIN (will find out soon). Unless one has personally experienced moving to another country, they have no right to comment/criticize. It takes big balls to do so, especially where English is not the native tongue. And even if it is, things are so different! It's not like moving from Boston to LA (well, LA sometimes feels like a foreign country). Learning, finding, experiencing things that are SO different. It takes a special type of person. And then, think of all the people who are AFRAID to take risks (my friend's husband had a great job opportunity in Pittsburgh, and my friend wouldn't move for him--she wanted to stay close to her family).
So, F-them, and Hi-Five to you, Girlfriend! I look forward to more posts....
Cheers, the VP
Mary said…
I totally admire what you did. Heck, after living only 4 hours away from my parents/family, I had to move home!
OMG - What's wrong with people! If they don't like what they see/read then go somewhere else. There's plenty of us who like your blog!

You are the kindest, nicest and funniest chick ever!

Jealousy is a wicked thing!! Shred it in the garbage disposal with the rest of the offcuts!
Anonymous said…
It's ironic that you mention this. I have been reading your blog for a while, and when I saw the show (which I stumbled upon and thought, "hey, I know that girl, I read her blog--its got to be her")I thought, wow, that really doesn't sound like her. I've never heard you whine in the blog, and if you watch HHI regularly, EVERY American complains about no AC and garbage disposals--scripted--you think. I think you did a great job, and your family is lovely. Forget the rest!!
Sage said…
Thank you for posting this. I'm an American ex-pat and I was considering doing a HHI show, but your experience has confirmed my concerns.

It's easy for people sitting in the US, where they've lived all their lives to judge. But noone knows how difficult, frustrating, and painful it can be moving to a new country where not only do you not know how to navigate the systems, but you can't even read your own mail witout asking someone to translate it.

That said, I don't think the disruption, grief, and 15 minutes of fame is worth the pittance of a stipend. I thought it might be fun, but maybe not so much :(

I'm sorry you've had to put up with so many mean comments.
Unknown said…
Hey, I am a Canadian who moved to Denmark, and was just asked to do the same show. It seems like after the fact stuff was brutal, but I am wondering how the actual process of filming was? I write my own blog, and did a post on being asked to do it, and then received a comment from ThisIndonesian, referring me to your blog. This is the first time I have seen your blog, but I am excited to check out some other posts!
Andrea said…
I don't even know what show you're talking about but I'd have a very hard time believing you could come across as a 'bitch'. I'm guessing like a house hunters type of show? Those are so staged, you can completely tell straight away.

People can be so mean. And it sucks. And pretty much so do mean people.

I've always loved your blog and seeing all the things that are different from where I live now (Kentucky) to where I used to live (Germany). I've appreciated what things were different and been amazed at what things are the same. You're right, as an expat it's different. Picking up and moving FOR GOOD to a foreign land...the amount of people who can go through that and come out the other side still smiling completely amaze me.
Leah said…
Hi Tressa! I stumbled on your blog today and recognized you but couldn't figure out why...and then I recalled the HHI episode from earlier this year and scrolled through your archives. My husband is Norwegian so we watched that episode with great interest... We also giggled at the garbage disposal fiasco--its one of the luxuries he's grown to love about houses in the US! I have another American friend living in Norway with her husband and when they built their house years ago she tried desperately to get a disposal installed but it was too difficult and very expensive. We almost moved to Norway a few years ago, the day we spent house hunting there was "interesting"! Looking forward to following you!
Anonymous said…
I am so glad you explained what happened with HHI. I recently saw you on HHI and ran across your blog. I didn't think you came off as difficult but I couldn't think of a diplomatic way to ask you on your blog why you need air conditioning in Norway and why your family in the states didn't just send you a garbage disposal! Now I know. Since I have stumbled on to your blog, I have really enjoyed reading it. Best wishes to you and your beautiful family!

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