As a Norwegian mom...i suck
OK, I didn't ask to be a mother in Norway, trying to be the best I can....but crap, I feel like I am always falling behind...
First let me say that one of Eva's preschool teachers MAKES ME CRAZY... (I am sure this is Aunt Flo speaking here...yes, 2x's in one month..my LUCKY family...)
In my head, I am pretty sure this teacher is TRYING to be HELPFUL....but my heart is screaming...
"BIO-TCH" "STOP trying to be helpful, pulling me aside each & every morning & letting me know where I FAIL as a mother in Norway....PLEASE..."
This lady has a comment EVERY morning... today she felt the need to pull me aside & ask why Eva didn't know "BlåFjell" ?? OK people, "BlåFjell" (Blue Mountain)is a Christmas show that they play once a year...i THINK it goes every night from the first of Dec. until Christmas.... I THINK...because I have never sat down to watch the thing.... The only thing I do know is that they market the ugly ass wool clothes for a ridiculous amount of money... $100 long underwear, $40 wool hat..... I just haven't been inclined to shell out that kind of money.
So anyway.... then I get pulled into a 15 min conversation as to why Eva doesn't know Blåfjell... I ended up apologizing that she missed the last two nights due to Dane's Christmas party, & her being over tired..... then she says to Eva..".make sure you tell your pappa that Blåfjell is on tonight 6:00".... HELLO FREAK OF NATURE... what? Do you work for Norway's Nat. broadcasting company?
Now I am irritated with myself that i even explained myself to her.... i SHOULD have said something like, We don't allow the children to watch TV...or they are only allowed to watch American TV shows like hannah Montanna (smile).... I should NOT have apologized....
Sometimes I get so tired of PRETENDING to fit in... Of trying to speak Norwegian...without an accent.. or acting like I "GET IT" when really I don't....
I think I am going to write a letting to the Norwegian Govt... & suggest that they write a manual to all mothers moving to Norway on how to be a good Norwegian Mother.... including what kinds of clothing the children MUST have...which toys we should be buying & of course which TV shows they should be watching....
SIGH... yes, it is ONE of those days...
Comments
Secondly, your kids, like mine, have a richer cultural heritage to draw from - Norwegian and American (British and Swedish in our case).. You should feel proud of that!
My daughter sometimes gets upset coz I'm not like the other mums.. but guess what? I'm not! And proud of it too...
So your blog title should be: I'm proud to suck as a Norwegian mom...
I bet you rock as a mum though!
You're a great mom who makes awesome costumes and teaches your kids the important things in life. And if the teacher doesn't get that tell her to step off! **hugs**
Your kids are growing up in Norway and have a Norwegian pappa so they're already going to have Norwegian attitudes and memories. If someone had tried to make my parents feel guilty for not being American enough, I doubt I'd be as in touch with their cultures as I am. This teacher is a chowderbrain.
madcelebs.blogspot.com
My mother stopped going to parent meetings because she couldn't take the pressure of all the 'Norwegianess' anymore. It was as if there was an intense focus to make me more Norwegian because my mother wasn't Norwegian.
You are right - you don't need to explain, you don't need to justify. I feel that the best way to deal with over zealous Norwegians is to go silent. It's a polite way to let them know that they have overstepped the boundary. Of course, if she asks - be honest and tell her. Honesty is not rudeness.
Besides - it's like Lutefisk - something we only do for Christmas and who really needs it anyway!
Thirty years from now, your kids will remember the fab costumes you created, the boat rides, the love, and the great adventure you made out of their lives. They will never remember some foolish television show!
I think the teacher's a bit nuts. I would think they would be wondering why kids were watching the tv show. I mean aren't tvs just ways to ignore your kids and rot their brains? So I've heard-
Better go turn mine off then shouldn't I??
Don't worry about it! Have some chocolate and then go do that healthy walking stuff you do :)
Those outfits are ... um ... interesting LOL ;)
It sounds to me like you're doing a great job!! - don't let that lame ass teacher ruin the great experience in Norway for you and the kids.
I live in the US, but have a lot of contacts with europeans, so I enjoy reading about your life abroad.
About this entry- Im sorry you feel so frustrated. I cant even imagine what isolation you are going through. Nevertheless, children are real resilient and able to pick up a new culture quite easily (I picked up "american" at 10 years of age. We moved from Mexico to Seattle). Your children will be just fine.
As far as you- maybe punch a pillow. There will be better days, Im sure.
Tressa, I've always been a rebel when it comes to fitting into the norm. I don't believe in the habit of "this is the way WE do it"....I'm sure you want to scream, "That's not the way I DO IT."
What's causing you problems is that they want you to be someone other than who you really are and that's tough. They want you to fulfilll their expectations and that's tough on you.
- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife
In the danish school today, I said that all Danish men and women who are about to marry a foreigner should be required to take a Danish grammar class so that they can help us with our lessons instead of saying "I dont know why...it is just that way"...so believe me.. we all feel your pain. They are just each packaged a little differently from house to house!! hang in there!
You sound like you are an awesome mom!!!!
And another thing, why do they have menorahs around here for Christmas? When I first moved to Norway I was shocked that there were so many Jewish neighbors;-)
Aunt Flo is working overtime here too!!
Leanna
Your a great mom!!
Regarding other comments: Lucia is some old tradition that's kind of nice as it brings light to a dark season (in my opinion). Factual info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Lucy's_Day
The menorah has been inherited from the jews, it's bascially a symbol of advent (waiting period), or the congregation (3 lights for the holy trinity, and 4 for people). I don't think most people really reflect on the meaning of the lights, they just enjoy making this dark season a little brighter :-)