My poor husband...

It isn't always easy being an AMERICAN in Norway... & I imagine it isn't always easy being MARRIED to an American in Norway...

Because lets face it...

I am an American girl living in a Norwegian world...


I may LOOK like a Norwegian ... but I don't think or act... or DRESS like a Norwegian
( for the most part.)
For example....
All of my little winter hikes....












You would probably expect me to be dressed like this...

<--------------




RIIIGHT?

cause any GOOD Norwegian knows..
there is no bad weather ...only bad clothes...

Well... I don't own any good/CUTE ski clothes
(sorry Bjørn I am NOT squeazing my butt into the ski pants from my '95 ski trip to Tahoe... & the rainbow ski jacket? it ain't gonna happen!)
(my birthday is is next month though...hint hint hint...)


I could LAYER my clothes, like all of the good Norwegians who don't have cute little ski outfits...

-But lets face it... the last thing I need to make me look THINNER is a couple of extra layers on my legs & ass....

but my legs ARE getting cold when I go out mountain climbing & ice rock scaling : )

(gosh I sound like the little adventurer don't I?-smile---)

...so what have I been wearing?....

My full length DKNY down jacket... (like down to my ANKLES ) ummm... it seemed like a good idea at the TIME... & lets be fair... when I went out yesterday, I was planning on going on a little walk... not climbing to the SUMMIT to get my "top of the world" photo...


by the way... loved this little comment...
Em said...
Zowwweee girl - you look like a Nordic Princess. (thanks Em!)...


What the photo wasn't showing was my Jackie O sunglasses... & my cheap-o snow boots which are not intended for more than hopping in the car to drop the kids off at school...
Picture it...
So here I trek(after taking all of my shots on the top of the Mountain...Oh, ok... HILL )... on my way back to the beach.. & I hit a gorge of some sort...

next thing I know I am WAIST DEEP in snow... Jackie O' sunglasses hanging cockeyed off my head.. & my cheap NO TREAD snowboots from DSW filling up with SNOW.

All the while holding my camera over my head, so that it wouldn't get wet....

When I got over the initial SHOCK...


First thought... THANK GOODNESS I didn't break anything.. can you imagine people finding my frozen American bod in my big ass sunglasses...?
Second thought... THANK GOODNESS there were no Norwegians here in the middle of a Wed. morning to witness AMERICAN in Norway...LOOKING like An American (Texan) in Norway.

Third thought... THANK GOODNESS neither Bjørn nor the children were there to witness their big ol' American momma making an ass out of her self...

really..... a FULL length coat, & Jackie O's to go hiking?

Then there would have been the "told you sos" ... Bjørn telling me I look like a big Bug in my ridiculous sunglasses.

So as I am snorting & grunting to crawl my way out of this snow filled gorge thingy... the image of DAME EDNA pops into my head...

My god...

I must look like Dame Edna right about now...




& I start laughing... & laughing ... which is not helping me crawl out
(one handed I might add)







& what if someone found me like this? ... OMG the horror... of it all...
Then it hit me...

My poor poor husband...

all of the years of having to explain my unpractical shoes... my SEVEN SUITCASES...


my just not getting the point of CROSS COUNTRY SKIING... (I really TRY...but come on)

It can't be easy being married to a foreigner...

I'm sorry baby... From this day forward I am going to do my best to try to BLENNNNND .... OK?
I am going to go out & get a cute Norwegian Ski outfit right away!




It ain't easy being cheesy.... : )

Comments

FROGGITY! said…
this cracked me up!! you poor thing!
for the record, in your pic, i think you don't look that bad- especially for having almost frozen in a snowbank! i would've rocked those glasses, too. :)
Corinne said…
The Swedish girl who rides at the stable and I both thought that the "winter suits" looked ridiculous. No way we'd wear those, ugh! No puffy blue marshmallow girl for me! And then it got to -12C and we've both been living in those suits down at the stable. Hmmm... Fashion goes out the door when you're cold!
I LOVE the glasses. They are classic. This cracked me up! Love your blog!
I LOVE the glasses. They are classic. This cracked me up! Love your blog!
Miss Footloose said…
Thanks for the laugh this morning! I'm married to a foreigner as well and we both put up with it.

As for clothes, I remember when living in West Africa I had all those fun skirts made of exotic African print and "knew" I was going to be a hit wearing them in Europe and the US. Only to feel like a total idiot there. Clothes mostly belong in their own country!
Roxane said…
Girl! I would do the same thing along side you! Seriously, layer clothes?! I think NOT lol And big glasses are always the way to go trust me :)
Blending is hard even when you think you do it's all wrong! Say you fell I'm laughing with you not at you...hee hee really!
Sarah - Kala said…
This made em laugh my ass off! I would so be the same way!! Know how I know? I live in freakin' Hawaii and I wear PANTS every.single.day. On the hotter days (no tradewinds) I constantly moan about how hot it is. Well, shit, Sarah, put on some shorts! But I don't own any . . . and I won't buy any 'cos they look awful on me. Or is it I look awful in them?
Corrie Howe said…
But I'm sure it makes life more interesting for both sides. If you can approach it with laughter.
MommyLisa said…
Sara-Kala, what no skirts? Skirts hide a MULTITUDE of bumps, wrinkles and sins. I would wear skirts EVERYDAY if I found enough of them that I liked...or had enough money for TreeHouse designs on Etsy to make me more. ;)
MommyLisa said…
Sara-Kala, what no skirts? Skirts hide a MULTITUDE of bumps, wrinkles and sins. I would wear skirts EVERYDAY if I found enough of them that I liked...or had enough money for TreeHouse designs on Etsy to make me more. ;)
MommyLisa said…
And HONEY! You look freakin' awesome. The cock-eyed sunglasses from falling down a cavern are WHY he loves you. :)
crystal mascorro said…
This is your funniest post yet! I read it aloud to Harald and couldn't even get through a sentence without gasping for breath. He thinks he and Bjorn should start a support group and call it book club too.
Robbi said…
LOL Tressa, that's a hilarious post, very well written as always. I'm glad to hear you'll get a Norwegian ski outfit, as it's better to pick out your own than have someone else pick it out. ;-)

I hope you enjoyed your '95 ski trip to beautiful Tahoe (which is where I live).

Ha det bra!
NatureFootstep said…
true, no bad weather, only bad clothing. That is how it is in sweden as well. :)
You're gorgeous no matter what you wear (even if you are drowning in a heap of snow). Sportsman has got a sale at the mo. I got myself some nice padded ski pants for Kr 99. They have the suites as well - all nice and bright......... (uhum)
Anonymous said…
Oh my goodness you are too funny....and gorgeous, btw! ;-)

~melody~
Jill said…
You are TOO cute for words here... Love the huge glasses and your adorable hood!

I've missed you my friend... sorry to be MIA for so long! :)
beaverboosh said…
by gods you're not Norwegian?
cat said…
Thanks for the great great laugh! Can you possibly imagine just how unprepared I would be?
Anonymous said…
Stoppin by from SITS! I could picture in the snow waist with your boots. I hope you get new boots. In my picture you ended up with really wet feet.
Karen said…
That my friend, is hilarious! My husband goes on and on about how to dress appropriately when having to spend time outdoors. My fear is, I will get all those clothes and then have to pee.......

Speaking of being an American in Norway.......my darling husband informs me he thinking of looking for work in Europe.....Norway being toward the top of the list. I am really wondering how my multi-colored family will do there. Any thoughts?
MoMo 2.0 said…
I think this post is awesome, but that your real purpose was finding an excuse to go shopping! LOL

And I am so glad I am not the only American living in Scandinavia with impractical shoes!!!!
Anonymous said…
Your adoh-able! I love how you write..you need to put it all in a book..I sware I would buy it!..can I have the second signed copy!...Bjorn can have the first..hahah I use a $200.00 camera with 12 optic lens and 10 pixels..Oh What I could do with a REAL camera..Well at least I think I COULD!.... :)it's a Fuji..
Unknown said…
You are SO pretty. I like that you were wearing your full length jacket : ) and I LOVE that you don't want to wear ski pants because they add width to your thighs :) You are so funny :)
Krista said…
My BFF Karen (surroundedbyseamonkeys) led me to your sight. I'm married to an Aussie and lived there for 7 years and then it was time to come home. :-) I think you deserve an award just for going out in the snow and to look so stylin' - you do us Yanks proud!
Dita said…
OK...I am laughing my butt off and sooooooooo get it. I felt that way soooooooooo many times when I lived abroad and the way you write, well, you capture it PERFECTLY.

I am going to have LOTS of fun over here!

Dita

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