Parenting with a bit of cheese 365-9

Today was one of those days where I really thought WHY bother with this 365.

like I have time... like anyone cares about my boring day to day..

I was going to blow it off.

But to be honest, I have had a kind of CRAPTASTIC day..

which includes a pretty ugly argument with my TEENAGER..

sigh.. REALLY. not. fun. when I know I will be gone for a week..

I don't want to leave with him being mad at me.. or thinking I am unfair.

(Here is the CHEESE-Y part)

I only wish I knew THEN.. what I know NOW..

I only wish HE knew.. what I know.

Looking back NOW... I know MY parents only wanted what was best for me.

OK... I didn't know that then... I thought they were HORRIBLE plenty of times..

but NOW... I think GOD they made some (most) of the decisions that they did.

(Like making me finish my education..

when I thought running off with a boy- might have been a good idea.

or MAKING get out there to make friends at the 3 different High schools I attended..when my father's job transferred us yet again...  )

I just pray.. my children will know much earlier than I did...

that there is NOTHING I wouldn't do for them..

including being the MEAN mother..

this isn't fun for me..

& if I didn't love you so much..

I wouldn't give a shit about what you do.

I love you so much.. it breaks my heart into a million pieces.. when you think that I don't..

Or that I am not your biggest fan..

You are my world... I just wish you could understand that....