Dentists chair...most unattractive place on earth!

So how did I get to spend my day off yesterday? Sitting out on my veranda sipping coffee in the Norwegian Spring sun.....
Nooooooooooooooo...
I spent the morning at the dentist...

I like my dentist.... he is a very nice guy...& kindda cute to boot... but I can't remember the last time I wanted to kick a man in his PRIVATES... (ouch!)

He asked me if I wanted to be numb before we started....

Ummm ... Y E S... Hello?
actually, I would prefer to be put under...but apparently, that wasn't an option.

What kind of FREAK doesn't want to be numb before someone starts drilling on your teeth?

( Turns out that FREAK would be my husband...(or so he says....) because it is FASTER...) whatever...

Just so you are not thinking I am a big, funky, ROT mouth.... I had to have 2 fillings replaced....


I left EXHAUSTED... Not sure if I was more tired from the procedure... or from my mind going 150 miles an hour....


I am pretty sure after the conversations I was having with myself (in my head of course)
I AM a FREAK of Nature....

After 5 min in the chair.... & a glance at my Dentists gloves, i ask my self..
WHY oh WHY?
...do I wear lipstick when I go to the Dentist?



At first I thought his hands were covered in BLOOD...
Holy S&%& what is he doing to me? & then I realized it was my lipstick.... took me back to the time I had my wisdom teeth removed in MEXICO..(not smart) & I wore my brownish lipstick into the dentist....

One glance up at his gloves... well, you can imagine what I was thinking ...EEKKK... Ewwww
As he continued I knew i must look a little like this....

however, seeing as I am not a model, I imagine I am looking a little more like Ethel Merman

ATTRACTIVE....

Not to mention my double chin, which now was a QUAD...

Dude...I am PRETTY SURE it is possible to break my jaw when you push on it that hard!

& what about my larger than life pores?


Please sweet Jesus.... don't let me have any random stray hairs popping out anywhere....

& boogers? don't get me started....

is it possible to be any less attractive then while sitting in the dentists chair?

Hmmmm... does he do his wife's teeth? is he able to look at her the same afterwards? I would NOT want to be cleaning my husbands teeth... TOO MUCH INFORMATION... ewwwww...

Does anyone keep their eyes open when someone is working on their mouth... As soon as I hop in the chair eyes close...is that weird? Or is it weirder to stare at him for the next 45 min?

I can only imagine the things I could find after staring at someone's face for 45 min... ewww.

So now you all see why going to the Dentist is like going to the gyno for me.... F UN FUN F UN..

Comments

Anonymous said…
I hate the dentist. With passion and emotion and feeling. Not the actual person, cause he's nice but the actual exam, well really the cleaning part. Oh I'd do anything to not go there!
When I had to have a root canal I listened to my ipod the whole time with my eyes seriously tightly closed. I don't want to hear or see what they are doing. Ever.
And we always go while on vacation because we much prefer the US dentist to the German dentist. Great vacation don't ya think?

Anyway. Thanks for following Venus/Mars :)
Anonymous said…
I hate the dentist's - am absolutely petrified. Would rather be totally knocked out - even if she is only cleaning my teeth...
Rebecca Jo said…
Dont forget the wonderful feeling of drool & spit rolling from your mouth, dried all over your chin... nice!

It does feel like you've been through a fight when you leave a dentist chair.... no wonder no one likes to go there!
I don't like to go to the dentist. The smell is just yuck. And that whole noise the machine makes while they are cleaning your teeth...grating. And I close my eyes, too. I do it so they won't talk to me. Why they feel compelled to make conversation while thier hands are in your mouth I do not know...
What A Card said…
I actually don't mind the dentist. I'm one of those fools who wants to do filling sans novocaine. For my first filling, I asked my dentist and he replied, "I don't like to do it without numbing, because then I feel like the person is just wishing I'd hurry up." So I told him, "I can assure you, with or without numbing, the whole time I'll be thinking I just wish you would hurry up."

My new dentist did do a filling without novocaine for me. It wasn't bad...it was a little cavity. She actually was really excited I let her do it without novocaine :)
angi_b72 said…
Thanks for stopping by yesterday!! Trying to get to everyone who commented. You are the only other one as well that I have seen with the same background...cool!!
sues2u2 said…
We're still dentist "hopping" here. Wish we were back in Md w/ my old dentist. He was awesome. He knew about the bony ridges under my tongue & the hygienist when she was taking x-rays was always super careful not try & rip them from my mouth! (Love how you nailed it though!!!)

My bil is a dentist & he works on his family. I've even had him work on us if we're there & need something done. He's really good; quick, efficient & will/won't use novocaine depending upon what you prefer.
Lulda Casadaga said…
I suppose it is time to visit mine... :( I have one tooth with part filling missing, but it hasn't bothered me yet! Your post made me laugh and love that face mask on the torturer~

I must confess that my first sexual fantasy was about my dentist! What can I say I'm weird! :D
Corinne said…
I do keep my eyes open at the dentist's office. I don't know, I like knowing that they're keeping their attention where it's supposed to be. Plus I watch their face for any expression that might be "Ooops, wasn't supposed to do that...crap." And I have what one hygenist called "happy" saliva glands. I drool so much they'll put two or three of those little bibs on me. That's so pleasant to think about when I went to my last dentist who was super, super cute.
Jen said…
those are sure some interesting thoughts about the dentist. LOL
Corinne said…
Omigod, I just checked out Sexy 80's Jens!!! LOL!!! Do you think he said, "I'm bringing the gun show to town!"????
The Blonde Duck said…
I want to be knocked out at the dentist.
Roxane said…
I would rather go to the Gyno then to go to the Dentist ANYDAY! ugh I hate everything from the sound of the drill to the smell of novacaine yuck!
Melissa said…
This post made me laugh :) aaaannd reminded me I need to schedule dentist appointments for us all this month. *sigh* I'll remember not to wear lipstick ;).
So funny! I was just at the dentist a few weeks ago, and before I went, I spent more time than the actual appointment with my face pressed up to my magnifying mirror to check for anything weird in or on my person! My dentist is a handsome guy, too, and I just know one day I'm going to leave the appointment and see a giant chin hair whipping in the wind when it's all over!
Laura said…
I would love to know the dentist's perspective-- do they think people who keep their eyes open are freaks? Do they want to gag while looking in some mouths? I should ask my father in law-- he's a dentist.
FROGGITY! said…
girl, you crack me UP! i wear lipstick EVERYWHERE and i never even thought about it looking like blood! next time i go to the dentist i'm going to think of this post and laugh. i am SURE you don't look unattractive though... imagine some of the people that go to the dentist... and their mouths... i am sure he's seen it all and you're a breath (pun intended- hardy har har) of fresh air. :)
Frizzy said…
I need to go to the dentist so bad. Hate finding a new one but I'm over due! Also, I keep my eyes closed. Don't know where to look when their face is so close to mine. I also hold my breath when they're nose to nose with mine. Loved Loved Loved this post and all the humor you put in it!!
Heather said…
I had a panic attack reading this post. I would seriously rather birth a child than go to the dentist. UGH... I'm so sorry you had to go through that, sweetie, and I'm glad it's over.
I am afraid of the dentist. I feel like they never have "good" news! But nothing compares to my children going (you saw the post) - at least I do not scream. (well at least not out loud!)
I loved the lipstick scenario - so true - why do we wear lipstick to the dentist???
Karen said…
My dentist is a....a.....well....he came from somewhere back woods, Alaska. On the up side of that, he is the most gentle dentist I have ever gone to. Honest, I didn't feel a thing.

I think I prefer the dentist to the gyno. At least his hand is in my mouth, preventing me from saying something stupid.
I couldn't go to that dentist...to cute!

I like to be able to go in my sweats and not worry about it, because if I'm not comfortable when I go there I TENSE up and the pain is worse...all that poking and prodding!

SO funny!!!
Kelli Nørgaard said…
You freaking crack me up!!!!!! I can just see you lying that chair.... smudged all over the place like a teenager who was in the back seat of a chevy!
aasheim424 said…
I was just reading your dentist post and laughing. I too went to the dentist here 2 weeks ago for the first time though. Thankfully he spoke english well. He too was young, maybe 30...and cute! It was just a check up and polish but the pressure he applies was incredible, i too felt like i had 10 chins the whole time. I always wonder what to do with my tongue, i do my best to keep it out of the way of where he is trying to work. Personally its the last job on earth i would want to have, people dread seeing you and are uncomfortable the whole time...eyes open...eyes shut..breathe throught the mouth or nose.. and so on. I left there thinking they should be paying ME 650kr to lay there for 45 min, and maybe hes not so cute anymore. See ya in a year buddy.
aasheim424 said…
Oh and not to mention the mouth full of grit (polish) i could get rid of no matter how much water he offered so i felt like i was eating sand all day. Fun.
Sunshine said…
All I had done in the dentist's chair on Wednesday was cleaning.. but the stress of just being there wore me out!
Congratulations on getting past that appointment.
Anonymous said…
Oh my gosh you have me laughing to so hard.....
Ritch in Love said…
Your husband gets drilled withOUT being numb?! Is he insane?! That happened to me once and I peed my pants a little out of pain and fear!
You? 4 chins? Doubtful!
Thanks for the MUCH needed laugh!
Ms Cupcake said…
That mask was scary!! I've always hated clowns and dentists.

Good morning!

Checking in from sits. It's FRIDAY!!!! Yay!!!

Have a great weekend.

Zen Cupcake

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