American in Norway

WHY? Because.... PROCRASTINATION is my middle name! Wish , me LUCK...

Remember the 40th b-day party I was planning for hubsters? Ya, well... it is BLOWING UP IN MY FACE! All of those absolutley FABULOUS Martha Stewart-ish ideas? Um..not gonna happen.. Right now... I will be lucky if I can manage to thow a bag of chips on the table ...while running around sweating like a pig..(I know..ATTRACTIVE visual) I talked Bjørn out of the Norwegian Food...simply because I know I can't make the dishes... & I certainly don't want to be JUDGED by a room full of Norskis first time I cam going to try to set up a Koldtbord - yea... all of the little dishes I WANTED to make?? snag after snag... Not being able to find the RIGHT meat .. damn my lack of knowledge when it comes to buying meat in Sweden.. I think I am going to go COMFORT FOOD... Soups/Chili? (it is Nov. in Norway =COLD) Caroline was nice to send me the link to buy the fondant for the cake... FOR MY ABSOLUTLEY FABULOUS b day cake... (let me remind you... never tried anything like this but...oh well...

Monday I was off of work.... Had my coffee..got my kiddos dropped off at school & I headed to the tanning salon.... OK you caught me... I am a fake baker... I enjoy the warmth of the bed especially on grey Norwegian mornings.... I like the brown color of my skin... My tanning is probably one of the few things I have in common with most of the Norwegians I know... We/they like a bit of color...some more than others.... As I slid into the bed I began to calculate how many more times I could go tanning before I leave for Argentina.... important to have a good base ya know... Ooooo I can't wait..the pictures I am going to take... the blog posts... oh wait.. I haven't finished blogging about my trip this summer... I totally blew the Paris bit off... (see what it is like in my head?...C R A Z Y) On my way home I popped into the grocery store where I spotted one of the national Norwegian newspapers... with the headline.. "SHE TANNED HER SELF TO DEATH". (sounds a bit Na...

The great Baby Einstein scam Did y'all hear about this? I read this today & was shocked/saddened/surprised. I don't think there could be a BIGGER Baby Einstein fan out there... I SWEAR/SWORE by the videos. All things Baby Einstein are my staple baby gift... the DVDs Cds toys... you name it... I had them all & gave them all... I will admit that when Dane was a baby, I had a video/CD on all of the time. Not that I had him propped in front of the TV... but I am one who has to have background noise & I thought it better that Dane hear songs in French,Japanese, German rather then listen to Barney's annoying voice. By the time Dane was 18 months he was able to identify all of the letters in the alphabet.... We couldn't talk...but he could name the letters.... by 24 months he could sing all of the songs off of the original Baby Einstein video...(yes, we had the VHS version...we go waaaaay back) we was singing in French, Japanese, German.... by 4 he knew all of the ...

OK y'all... time to put on your thinking caps... I need a REALLY GOOD NAME for a blog... One of my BFF's is ready to start blogging... (yes I have 2 BFF's ) As you may remember ONE of them does have a blog...but we haven't heard from her in E V E R... (maybe you can pay her a visit & gently URGE her to start writing again... Kell , we MISS you..) OK so about this OTHER BFF ... She is going to be a first time mommy in just a few months...to TWINS... (starting a blog & giving birth... wow... she is going to be a busy momma!) Need a little more info? She is Beautiful...(although she would never admit it...) She lives in Texas... She is a somewhat newlywed & she is about to have twins... I came up with... "almost 40 & knocked up" & "a NEW middle aged mother" (I was KIDDING) She actually chose the "middle aged mom" one... BLESS... - the reason we have been friends for 30 years? - cause she always makes me laugh.... So wha...

I know this sounds stupid... I know it should be NO big deal... but.... (me - making my S A D face..) yesterday after MONTHS of waiting.. I hit the big 150... (followers that is...) I was doing my happy dance... whoo hoo... Why does it matter? I dunno...it just does... (thanks RennyBA for pushing me out of my 140's where I have been lingering F O R E V E R ) So what happens when I log on this morning? (take a guess...look to your left ) Maaaaaan! OK, who stopped loving me last night? forgetaboutit SO now I am walking around with a sad pathetic look on my face... to make things worse I have something the size of a golfball tumor on the side of my face.... & my kids & HUSBAND are taunting me with the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger "its not a TUUU-MAR " (my family can be pretty ROTTEN at times) Did I mention I have a very important meeting with Clinique next week? um, ya.. as in the cosmetic/skin care Clinique? NIIIIIICE... you only have one chance to make a f...

OK... I must admit I have been pretty jealous of all of y'all who get together for these blogger meet ups... in New York or Chicago or in Germany.... But guess what? Finally it is OUR time... Oh yeah baby... we are having a REAL "BLOG-FEST" here in little Ol' Norway. SO for all of y'all who are just DYING to meet me... now is your chance! (I know... I need to get O V E R myself) If you are wondering what Norway is really like...Come on over-up... & the good thing is, it is in AUGUST... my happy month! Best month for sunshine, super looooong days & all of the best that is Norwegian... NO EXCUSE for all of y'all living in Scandinavia... heck...the rest of Europe as well..come on up.. it will be a real good time! RennyBA’s Terella Official Program Dancing With the Stars

WARNING ... this is a weepy expat post... so turn away NOW...if you don't want to listen to my moaning.... Yesterday at work I was speaking with an old lady... I repeated myself twice...she still didn't hear or understand me... finally her daughter said.. "Just speak English...she's American..." me: "Your A M E R I C A N?" old lady: " Yes... I am AMERICAN...are YOOOOU AMERICAN?" me: SQUEEEEEEEAL ... Oh so nice to meet you.... (I really get excited to meet other Americans when I least expect it...) Her entire face LIT up... she was so excited to meet another American... I told her... "Oh heck we are all over the place these days" in fact there are 3 of us working here... We are like the American mafia... " lol ... LIE .. there are really only 2 of us.. but I keep forgetting that Caroline my British accented, Norwegian/South African blooded buddy isn't ONE OF US.. (yes, she is THAT cool..she could be AMERICAN..) people, I am ...

I'm a SCARY MOMMY.... (wouldn't you like to be one too?) My imaginary friend Jill aka known as SCARY MOMMY is having a contest over at her place.... where we all get to brag write about what SCARY MOTHERS we are... She has some great little p rizes like this little diddy which I would like to get my hands on... (can you imagine? I would be the COOLEST scariest mommy with one of these in my bag!) ANYHOO.... I think anyone who reads my blog can attest to my SCARINESS... but I think this post just goes to prove... what a rotten, scary mother I can really be.... YES, this is a re post of one of my PROUDEST moments.... ENJOY .... Mortified Monday..... Lets all share our mortifying moments.....OK... anyone want to play? If so...get your moment posted, leave me message & I will link back to you... I just thought we could all start the week off with a little laugh.. & so much the better when it is at somebody else's expense..am I right or am I RIGHT ? I have a LOT o...

OK... I know y'all could really care less...but just had to ask... which do you like better... for an INVITATION... I was planning on doing B & W everything.... but then I kinda liked it in color... THE COLOR.... B & W with a B&W background? (it can be any b&W background...I find something else tomorrow... Or B&W with a bit of color...(again..can be any color...) Wanna guess what I got down today? Ummm NOT. A LOT... I was planning on using O N E picture for Bjørns invite.... But ended up spending the day going through pictures from his mother... LOOK at HOTTY here... I sooo would have been chasing him down the street in his uniform! HOT mullet & that outfit.. probably not so much... But does this not just CRACK YOU UP...? He looks like his name ought to Be Bjørn or Sven or something... Wonder if my husband is totally going to DIVORCE me when he finds out I put his TOTAALY 80's picture on the internet?

After living here for a little over 4 years I F I N A L L Y had an A HA moment... DIFFERENCES between living in Norway & in the U.S. You remember all of the crap going on at school with Dane? (which, by the way, is much better now..) So last night we were talking about a book report he is writing for his English class.... In the past week & 1/2 he has read 4 books from the U.S. I am pretty proud of Dane...proud of the fact that he LIKES to read... proud of the fact that he is doing all of the extra work we have set up for him... We tell him OFTEN how proud we are of him... "Good JOB" is something you hear OFTEN around our house for both children...always have...made a big deal out of stuff that isn't really so big " Yahooooo you went pee pee on the potty! GOOOOD GIRL" (lets have a party!) - thats just us... & I think that it is a VERY AMERICAN thing to do... We like to boost people's egos don't we? for the most part it isn't like that...

"And my advice to anyone reading this is, don’t let opportunities pass you by. Don’t dismiss people without thinking about how you may feel later. Don’t end something great, just because you think it would be too inconvenient to your life to let it continue. " - this pretty much sums up how I ended up in Norway, with Bjørn after spending 8 weeks together.... I have been playing on Stumble all day (looking for birthday ideas) All of the cool blogs I have been finding ...LOVE em...

ARGH...less than a month till Bjørns 40th b-day....! I am starting to feel the pressure- which I put on myself .... I just want his big day to be SPECIAL... I know..he could care less about the details... He would be happy with a Norwegian Cold Board... salmon, kjøtt kaker etc.... & a store bought cake. But as y'all KNOW... I LOVE Birthday parties.... The problem is living growing up in the states...having my BFF's be the Martha Stewarts of the Midwest..I have all of these AWESOME ideas... without the resources to pull it together... We don't have your giant party stores here... there are no Hobby Lobby's or Michael's to go & get all of the cake decorating stuff & decorations I would need to try to pull something AWESOME off... I bought a few things in the US (decoration wise) but that was before I decided on going BLACK & WHITE... So now I have to put my thinking cap on & figure out how to get my hands on all of the things I need.... & I ne...

C R E E P Y. I am being stalked by my husbands, cousin's, 13 year daughter ... on FACE BOOK. (did ya get that?) No matter what time of the day I get on.. SHE .IS. THERE... with the whole instant messaging... "what are you doing?" "what are you doing?""what are you doing?" "guess what I am doing" "Hee hee can you guess?" (ummm, being CREEPY?) ...5am...2pm...11:30pm... She must have an alarm that goes off every time I log on. At first I was nice.... but then I started to ignore her..... but still, she DOESN'T STOP . To the point of being W E I R D .... What 13 year old doesn't have something, ANYTHING, better to do than STALK an old auntie cousin, not even blood related person....? stalk little boys your OWN age... not old, grumpy, mothers like me... So the dilemma... Can I dump her off of my friends list without things getting AWKWARD? I would have dumped her a long time ago but she has so few friends on FB that she woul...

This is my momma... Isn't she sweet? She is also a very WISE woman... ( Most of the time...) Then there are days when this kind of stuff comes out of her mouth... (taken from the baby sisters blog ...) Mom's say the darndest things. As my mom and I were walking down my street yesterday. Mom: Is that a pussy willow? Me: Uh, I'm not sure. It looks like it though. Mom: I've never seen one that big before. Usually the pussies are much smaller. Me: [starts laughing hysterically] Did you really just say that? B L E S S... love ya ma.! this was just too funny NOT to share.... Little sis & I are thinking of starting a blog just for the DiAnn-isms ....lol

OK y'all... this is SOOOO easy I am almost embarrassed to share it with you. FAT GIRL FANTASY is really just a Chocolate Trifle... This is SOOO easy... & I have never had anyone not L O V E it We started calling it FAT GIRL FANTASY (wonder how many pervos are going to end up over here on because of this post?) Because I had to substitute some ingredients like non fat COOL WHIP with whole FAT YUMMY Norwegian whipping cream... SO this is how you make it.... *1 pan of brownies *Whip Cream *Chocolate pudding *Crushed Heath Bars... ( Daim if you live here in Norway) I don't like Norwegian pudding (no offense Norskis ) so I started adding a little Nutella to the mixture.... drizzel it o n the top so it LOOKS like you know what you are doing... (yes, I am a DORK) You just layer it in a trifle dish (clear glass dish) Easy Breezy.... To shake things up a bit... & so it doesn't seem like I am bringing the SAME .DESSERT. EVERY. TIME I will add berries as a layer sometim...

This time last week I was still sitting in Amsterdam trying to get home.... Got in 9 pm Sunday night...& it was right back to work Monday...Jet lag & all.... I know I bitched & moaned about the CRAZY luggage allowance on the American airlines.... No longer allowed to have FREE bags... (I could totally see that if you were getting a super cheap flight like on Ryan airlines... but when you have to pay over $300 for a domestic flight... you would think you would get at least ONE free suitcase...) Northwest Airlines.. which will be my LAST choice from now on out, changed the international luggage allowance once again .. restricting international flights to ONE 50 lb suitcase.... & the second bag 50lbs. was an additional $50. if you wanted to bring a 3rd suite case it would cost you an additional $200. THANK GOODNESS that KLM didn't get the message & let me take my second bag on for free... (I wish the airlines would have ONE policy in regards to luggage....makes it...

OK I know y'all think I am a pretty cool chic... the kind of chic who would be eating SUSHI all of the time... cause it is the cool thing to do, but I have to admit...I had never tried nor had the desire to try sushi (regardless of how COOOOL it sounds) until last night.. We headed over to the fabulous Caroline's to celebrate her birthday... We had SUSHI... which I must admit was AWESOME... who knew? ( Ok obviously a lot of y'all )& L O A D S of red wine.... mix that up with wonderful friends & you have a hellava good time. Don't get me started on Caroline... I could just G U S H about what a lovely person she is.... Not often that you meet someone & you just CLICK...especially when you meet each other via a blog... & on top of that our families CLICKED.... I am just so thrilled that they moved to our little corner of Norway.. Anyhoooo .... to counteract Caroline's healthy SUSHI, I had to make her my famous... "Fat girl Fantasy..." wi...

Guess who's coming to town? Obama WOW...the surprise that went around the world today. never mind politics, I am just excited that the President of the United States is coming to Oslo... I am excited for my children.. kinda like both of their worlds are meeting for the rest of the world to see & have already decided to take them down to Oslo for the big day... Are you wondering WHY the Nobel Peace prize is handed out in Oslo & not in Stockholm with the rest of the prizes? The reason why Norway distributes a part of the prize is that at the time of Alfred Nobel's death, Norway and Sweden were joined together in a personal union known as the Swedish-Norwegian Union . [3] [4] (ya, I totally had to look that up, but at least I am learning something everyday...) Gonna leave you with my Favorite Norwegian band at the moment... (they have some pretty good music over here...)- wondering if DONKEYBOY has made it over to the states? Enjoy...have a great weekend!

OK...I just have to throw this out there... I am sure "He's just not that into you" is a very hard thing to hear.... But believe me... it is a hard thing to say... so hard in fact, most of us won't say it. We don't want to hurt your feelings... & rather be there for you when you FINALLY get a CLUE. But it needs to be said.... I encountered several girlfriends while at home that I wanted to...should have said-... "GIRL...he's just not that into you.... walk...no, RUN the other way... you are wasting your time on something that just ain't going to happen..." ( & if you do manage to WEAR him down to the point of giving into marrying you... neither of you will EVER be happy...) I should have taken a few of you by the shoulders & stood you in front of the mirror & made you see what I SEE... you are a SMART, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL woman & you are selling your self short.... There is such a fine line between being supportive & bei...

One thing that most expats can agree on is that once you have lived abroad for a while, you can never really go home. You will find you yourself stuck between two countries...two cultures.... but where do you fit in? When I am in Norway... I find myself thinking of all of the WONDERFUL things which are American to me.... Yet, when I am home in the United States... it is easy to see all of the wonderful things about Norway ... P L E A S E don't tell my husband I am saying this... I am afraid after almost five years of my bitching & complaining about moving me here... he may go into shock ...... Norway...really is...a nice place to live.... OK...I said it... out on the Internet for the rest of the world to read... it isn't really too bad here... I am not crazy about the sky high taxes & prices.... I am not a big fan of socialised medicine.. Nothing pisses me off more than watching people screw the system....which apparently is very easy to do... if anything Norway is a ...

I know all of my fellow Norway bloggers will be posting about THIS Norway has been ranked as the best place in the world to live. WOW.... Now, I am not sure if I agree with it... cause I am pretty proud to be an American y'all... & am already homesick for the US of A after being gone for only 24 hours... but I did make some observations while I was home... (I'd rather poke my eyes out than admit this to my husband...) there are some pretty good things about living here in Norway I will have to do an entire post on this...(maybe tomorrow) & I mean this in a really good way...not my usual bitchy way. Anyhoo ... just thought I would share the story for any of y'all who care... : ) ciao for now.. An American living in the Best place to live..... in the world.....

**Sigh**... What can I say? I am living the HIGH LIFE.... things are GOOOOOOD . Queen for a day? Um...make it 10. I fear that going back to the real world is seriously going to SUCK... But I refuse to think about that now.. T H I S is my idea of a HOLIDAY... I have ONLY been gone for a little over a week... but M A A A A N N N N ... I do not remember the last time I was this relaxed.. I have accomplished more in the 10 days this trip, than I did in the 3 weeks I was home last year.... & by accomplished I mean... shopping.... pedicures...facials...shopping...seeing girlfriends...shopping....time with mom &dad...shopping .... time with my sisters....shopping.... eating out...shopping I feel like a REAL PRINCESS... My reunion was A.W.E.S.O.M.E. ... makes me wish I had gone to my 10 th & 15 th . I am going to start saving up to get back for my 25 th .... Over 2 days I had the chance to mingle & see approx 350-400 of my CLOSEST friends... (my class was 900+) I amazed myse...