You can never really go home.... living in Norway

One thing that most expats can agree on is that once you have lived abroad for a while, you can never really go home.

You will find you yourself stuck between two countries...two cultures.... but where do you fit in?

When I am in Norway... I find myself thinking of all of the WONDERFUL things which are American to me....

Yet, when I am home in the United States... it is easy to see all of the wonderful things about Norway ...

P L E A S E don't tell my husband I am saying this... I am afraid after almost five years of my bitching & complaining about moving me here... he may go into shock......

Norway...really is...a nice place to live....

OK...I said it... out on the Internet for the rest of the world to read... it isn't really too bad here...
I am not crazy about the sky high taxes & prices.... I am not a big fan of socialised medicine..

Nothing pisses me off more than watching people screw the system....which apparently is very easy to do... if anything Norway is a very EASY...COMFORTABLE place to live...
The Norwegian govt. will hold your hand from the cradle to the grave ...if you want to be a slack off your entire life... you can...& the rest of us will pay for it.... (this is the part of Norway I DON'T like...)


But on the other side... I know that I/my children, will always be taken care of here... it is a little peace of mind.


I have been listening to the news about of the state of the American economy... not really sure how much of it is true & really how bad it was.... I didn't think I knew anyone who had really been affected.
But the more I listened to my girlfriends about the states of things at home... the more I started to appreciate the Norwegian system....

My childhood BFF who is expecting twins next spring is already worried about having to put them in daycare... & her quitting & staying home with them isn't really an option because she carries the health insurance & her hubby works a commissioned job....
I did at least have the good sense to keep my mouth shut & NOT say..
" Well in Nooooorway, you don't have to worry about insurance & you would be able to stay at home with the babies for a year & still get paid..."

too bad I can't keep my trap shut when it comes to telling Norwegians how FABULOUS the U.S. is...

Then there is the friend who was called into the office & let go after YEARS of service..because of cut backs.... in the blink of a moment her job was O V E R... bye bye... adios...
How do you go home & tell your family? HOLY SHIT...what do you do?

Not sure how exactly it works here in Norway...but I know that can't just call you in & give you the boot.

I can go to sleep at night & know that we are going to be OK...

I bitch & I moan about living here because that's what I do... that's MY THING...

but truth is... we don't live very different here then we did in the U.S. we both have good jobs we enjoy, we have a nice home & can take a holiday every year.... the big differences are....

I can no longer afford to go out & get mani-pedi s once/twice a month because they run over $100 here.
We don't go out & do lunch...
I no longer shop for fun...
no more happy hours
We have 1 TV in the house instead of 6
we have 60 channels instead of 600
No more going out & buying a new outfit just "because..."

On the flip side... our lives in Norway are less about our STUFF & more about the family....
I am no longer the crazy soccer mom speeding down the highway(...because if get caught doing something WRONG here... it is going to H U R T in the pocket book...)
I take my time getting places & doing things because here it is OK.... no need to stress about anything... My kiddos play outside & I don't have to worry about them...much

Will I tell you living in Norway is BETTER than living in the UNITED STATES?... nope...
N E V E R... (I'd poke my eyes out first...)

But life here in the frozen tundra is good...

A little diddy I borrowed from AMY... thanks Amy!

Comments

I really enjoyed this post! I love hearing about living in different places. Your writing style is wonderful and your blog is beautiful.
Kacie said…
Good for you for thinking positively even though you just left "home". that's always a tough few days, trying to remember why it's okay to live where you do even though you miss home. :)
PiNG aka Patti said…
One of the things I love about the Scandinavian countries is the lack of 'stuff' - sure I hate it when I go to the store and want to wander aisles like I used to do at Target, but I love the fact that people focus more on family and just living life and less on being the first to own something, or owning the biggest of something. It's a tough concept to explain to someone and I really think you have to live here to understand it, but I certainly appreciate it!
I have a friend here that is from Germany - and she waxes rasphodic about how wonderful it is there. But she doesn't want to go back there to live :-) I think it must be quite a challenge to be caught between the two cultures!

Oh - it sounds like you had a fabu reunion! Has Stanley been mailed?? Madalyn was asking me about it. And if it would be easier, I can give you the teacher's email to send your post link or pictures or something...
Unknown said…
It is always a flip side. One is good when your in the other. I find myself missing stuff there when all I did was moan about wanting to be here. It's a nightmare!

I'm glad you found that you like a lot more than you dislike about your adopted home. :)
Jemma said…
That is a really good post, no matter where I move to I always think the grass is greener on the other side until I get there and things get put into perspective. Norway can be a pain in the arse, but at the end it really is a beautiful country and it does have a lot of benefits!
Skogkjerring said…
Hey you! I think it's human nature to bitch..and as someone mentioned the grass is always greener on the other side..so if you lived in America you'd be missing Norway and all the great things here, no place is perfect but each place is what you make it.
There is a lot of faults with Norway but there are just as many with the states. It's just easier to see the faults when you are up in the middle of it.
Loved that video..had a great laugh..;-))
Bwhahahahaha - *wiping tears with back of hand* - what we have to look forward to......

Excellent post darling - excellent!
Doriana Gray said…
I know exactly how you feel about seeing the benefits AND drawbacks of both countries. It´s hard having one foot in both, however sometimes, just sometimes you get to live the best of both!- a lesson hard learned for me.
I loved this post. LOVED IT!

: )
Anonymous said…
For me it's like... I'd rather have the benefit of being home with my baby for a year and get paid, not have to worry about daycare and the families economy than have 600 tv channels...

I’d be scared to death about the health insurance thing in the US. I want to be able to take my kids to the doctor or hospital without proving that I have insurance. I’ll be admitted simply because I live in a country that chooses to take care of peoples heath.

You pay taxes in the US too. How does the government spend that money? I want the taxes to go back to the people – to benefit them!!

OK, so some people can use the system, have benefits that I paid for with my taxes. But face it, a few slack people will get something they don’t really diserve (happens everywhere doesn’t it) but if we were change the system: imagine all the people that wouldn’t get the help they deserve.

About unemployment. Usually you have 3 month notice. You get money from the government if you are not to blame for the unemployment. Up to a year, 65% of your previous salary or so.
Jill said…
So love that you're enjoying where you life... despite the cold, high prices, and being so far away from your family.

I've never been to Norway - but I've always heard good things about living there!
Karen said…
I relate to this post. Sad thing is, I am just that way about states. Sad I know. It is so hard to find home when there is so much good and so much not so good, every where you live.

All that said, after this post I would consider Norway on my top ten lists of places I would be willing to move to.
Batgirl said…
Excellent post! :-) I so agree on the abusers of the system. Part of the problem is that a lot of social workers (at least the ones I met when working in the system) tend to "sy puter under armene" with regards to their clients (sowing pillows under their arms - doesn't translate well, but basically means they demand nothing and expect nothing of their clients). Quite different from what I learned during my Human Services degree work - and from my fellow students, some of whom where previous addicts etc. If you don't demand or expect, why should they give a shit? It's not like they're not going to get the money anyway. And that's where it all goes wrong - the unemployment office can require you to take any job you're offered, including in Finnmark. They never do. I've seen too many unemployed teens (granted, totally destroyed by excessive ecstasy use) who could be turned into productive citizens if someone would just start enforcing the rules. Of course, there's whole families, who when the kid turns 18, send him/her down to the social welfare office to sign up. It's their job/income, and a problem well known by the social workers... Disgusting.

On a lighter note: very funny video :-)
Batgirl said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny said…
I loved the video at the end!

Great post.
I love that video!! Norway seems like an amazing place, I hope to visit someday! And of course if I ever do, I'm going to come stalk you!! tehee:)
Anonymous said…
ok - so i've never posted , but... your blog is one i check daily . I was cleaning earlier and listening to a cd and the song "life happened" by Tammy Cochran came on and I immediatley (sp?) thought of you....ya know, the whole reunion thing + ya kinda look like her - . btw, love the blog. have a good one,
kelly , iowa
Anonymous said…
P.S. - here's the link if ya wanna check out the youtube vid.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8rHJrXgm7Y

Kelly, Bettendorf Iowa
Anonymous said…
Batgirl, you're a bit wrong. I was forced to take a job when I was unemployed. I wanted to work, I really did. But I was alone with two kids and the job I was forced to take was so far away that I would have to leave home 1 hour before the kindergarten opened. And I wouldnt make it home before it was closed.... Luckily I found a job myself close to home, so I didnt matter. I've heard of others too.
Also, you cant get unemployment payment if you've never worked. Which means that a kid at 18-19 straight from school cannot go and claim this benefit. Unemployment benefints is something you get when you've lost your job, and its also got to do with how much money you've made. A kid at 18-19 hasnt lost a job! He/she might get social services to help if he/she cant support himself/herself.

A lot of the people who make it their "job" to get social sevices to finance their lives are immigrants. And a lot of them get their money from the system, not much to live on in NOrway, but it doesnt matter cause the go back to Pakistan or whereever where they can live well on Norwegian moeny.

Drugusers are difficult. You need them to get off the drugs before you can force them to work. And who would employ them?? The problem is that you cant force them to work if nobody wants to hire them. And the money they get? Its not much.


Ritz
MsTypo said…
No more happy hours?! Frozen tundra?! *faints*
Anonymous said…
I totally hear you! I lived in England for 2 years. While there, i totally enjoyed myself, loved my kids school, loved they could play outside w/out me being an eagle-eye, loved the friends I made. Hubby and I were relaxed, not constantly stressed. But while living there, I bitched about the negatives (weather, health care, plumbing,whatever). Upon moving back to the US, I can only think about all the UK positives! If I could take the best of England, and the best of US, it would be my own Eutopia.

One of my US Expat friends just moved back from the UK. We met up for coffee the other day, and we compared notes--from me being back one year, and she just 6 weeks, and it is SOOOOO hard not knowing how to fit back in.....
Anonymous said…
Loved your post. Only we that have lived in two... or more countries can fully understand. An Italian told me once: "if you have lived in two countries, you have lived twice". I feel there is some thruth tho that. I am a norwegian that have lived in the US for 9 years. I moved back to norway a few years ago.. and I have to say I struggeled the first year. My norwegian friends told me I had become Americanized. Kept going to the store after it was closed and all that. I like living here now... not because it is better... because I am from here. I just feel so embarresed on behalf of my countrymen how little we understand and help those who come from other countries. Thanks for your post... it was refreshing.
Lacey said…
I'll have to think on this. I toy with the idea of Hubby and I moving overseas together. We lived in Europe before we ever met.
Anonymous said…
Its possible to "slack off" and have the goverment support you all your life.

But its not comfortable. Not at all.

To get unemployment benefits, you must first have had a job. They are 66% of your previous salary, and you can only be on them for 72 weeks. The idea is that you shouldn't have to sell your house or anything while between jobs, but it doesn't let you keep your old standard of living.

If you haven't had a job ever, or stay unemployed more than 72 weeks, your next option is social security. It gives you enough to survive. You shouldn't starve or freeze, but thats about it.

The problem is not people who "game" the system (I cant think of any expression in Norwegian for that) but people who cheat. Take jobs they don't declare, don't pay taxes on and still get social benefits. But that is criminal, like stealing.

Living on social security might seem attractive to an 18-year old, who has never had a job. His friends who just started an education or on the bottom of some job ladder aren't much better off financially, and they have to work as well.

But in a few years, the differences become apparent. The social security case can't stand his round in the pub. Or even buy his own beer. He depends on his friends generosity. He can't come when they discuss going on vacations, diving, road trips.
Most people get back into work once they realize thay are becoming objects of pity in their peer groups.

People who stay on the social security into their thirties and longer are sad things. Often permanently disabled, addicted to something, or unemplyable for some reason.

A problem can arise when entire groups of people get into this lifestyle though. If everyone in your peer group is at the same level, you don't notice what you're missing so much. Then you can get a culture of people who are content to slack off.
Anonymous said…
Oh PS: Personally, I find the security for my kids the big selling point in the Norway vs. USA thing.
The country where you leave your kids outside the shop in the trolley as a matter of course vs. the country where that is unthinkable...big difference!

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