Mean Mothers SUCK!
I would like to dedicate this post to Wenche...a MEAN mother...
(Bare with me through this post because my head is ALL OVER THE PLACE...)
So last week, Wenche's son, lets call him "PRINCE" ... shows up with invitations to his Birthday party... All of the boys in the class were invited except TWO...
(yes...Dane was left out...) -this is the first time that Wenche has left Dane off of the list..but not the first time that she has excluded one or two children from the birthday party.
Last year she invited the entire class boys & girls.. but left ONE little girl off of the list because she has an egg allergy & couldn't be bothered worrying about what she may or may not eat.
HELLO? WHO DOES THIS? who excludes A child?- as a show of solidarity all of the little girls boycotted the party.. & Wenche was labeled a freak by the girls mothers... (or so I have heard through the grapevine...)
There is a rule at school (or so I thought) that if you don't invite ALL of the boys in the class, then you don't bring the invitations to school... fair enough... but I don't understand what the difference is between 10 or 12 boys ... 2 extra cups of jello? not like the parties are any big deal..
"Prince" of course passed out in the invitations in class leaving 2 boys out....
I was pissed! I think it was a bigger deal for me, than it was for Dane....
By mid week... there was a cancellation & Dane would be invited after all... (LUCKY US) Dane told Prince"Thanks, but no thanks...if there wasn't room for Magnus then he wouldn't be going either..."
The next day Prince returns to school to invite Magnus... (I was pretty sure that Magnus would accept..) Nope, Magnus didn't want to go either....
Dane talked to Prince yesterday & turned out the party was pretty much a FLOP..only 2 boys showed up... (nothing to do with Dane 6 Magnus...)
So the EVIL MOMMY that can be in my head thought...
lets see how it feels when 19 invitations go out..& EVERYONE is invited except you... not fun is it?
I went on my walk this morning...
(I have been up 5 am walking for the past 4 mornings..woo hoo gooooo me!)
& I started thinking about Prince face as he learned how it felt to be the one left out.....
Not fun is it little "Princey Poo"... not fun at all.....
maybe WENCHE should think about this next year....
the more I walked..the more I thought about it....
Damn... Damn the "good" Tressa
that always has to pop when I am finally ready to stand up & teach all of the mean people in the world a lesson...
I can not be that mean... my problem isn't with Prince...my problem is with his FREAK of a mother... There have been many times Dane didn't want to invited one kid or another... & I told him TOO BAD... it is all or nothing...
NO ONE LIKES TO BE LEFT OUT
Those are the lessons that we as parents, are supposed to be teaching our children... our school is very big on the "anti-bullying" but when you exclude a child from parties & games & we as parents go along with it...isn't that a form of bullying?
Dane was actually the one last night, that said he felt bad for PRINCE & that maybe we should invite him to avoid the BAD KARMA.... (he really is a smart kid)
So Prince is getting an invitation... I know if I had excluded a child & that child came with an invite a few days later I would feel like a total ASS.... not sure that Wenche is wired like that...
I am pretty sure that PRINCE won't be allowed to come to the party ANYWAY...
last year I hired a lady to do special effects makeup on the boys...& Princes mom was PISSED..not pissed about the fake gunshot wounds etc... but because the lady put WAX in Prince's hair.. & now his hair was "ruined"... (he was BANNED from coming to our house for a month because I had RUINED his hair...)
So to summarize my long RAMBLING POST....
WENCHE... you SUCK... & I do not...
I am going to be the bigger person.
UPDATE... (like this is breaking news or something..)
I thought this was a good question..especially if your not a mom & were never one of the kids who was left out..
Makeup Theory has left a new comment on your post "Mean Mothers SUCK!": "Okay, all of the moms - don't attack me here. I am NOT a mother and I don't ever want to be, so these things may escape me. But here goes...as adults, we do not invite people we don't like to come to our homes and hang out with us. If I had a fancy dinner party and felt obligated to invite someone I genuinely didn't like and thought they'd be a sucky conversationalist, I'd be upset. And in turn it would ruin my party - for me (and possibly others). Why must children invite people they don't like to their parties? What lesson are they learning? Kids have no rights? Maybe the problem isn't the invites, but doing them at school. But even mailing them would not really help. Kids are mean. They'd still tell the other kids who were left out that there was a party and YOU weren't there. I'm just asking - is there a good way to solve this? I'm not starting a fight.
FIRST.. OK Make up Theory...Bring it ON! I am K I D D I N G...
I should have maybe pointed out that the boys are FRIENDS.. (for the most part...) there are 6 of the 10 boys in class which live on 2 streets... MOST of the time the boys all play together... over at each others houses... so the "Prince" isn't just some random kid... I totally agree with MUT (make up theory...) If I was having a party I wouldn't invite someone I didn't like... However I think when it comes to children... everyone deserves a chance..& one little 5,6,9 year old isn't going to ruin your party.... however being the only kid left out can be really hurtful... In my OPINION there never any reason for an adult to help single a child out from the group....
Iagree with Lady Fi as well "That means that not everyone is invited and we're all cool with that. After all, you shouldn't feel forced to invite everyone anyway, especially if they don't all play together at school. However, we all give out invited privately and never ever at school and we never leave out just one or two kids - that is just mean, mean, mean... The usual thing is that 12 kids are invited out of 26 so that no one feels left out as the majority are not invited."
I don't invite the ENTIRE 4th grade...I wouldn't expect my child to be invited to every birthday party.. but when you are talking about a small group of boys/girls who all live by /play with each other..then I think it is WRONG to leave one or two children out of the group.
Am I overreacting?
P.S the little Prince was very happy to be invited..
(Bare with me through this post because my head is ALL OVER THE PLACE...)
So last week, Wenche's son, lets call him "PRINCE" ... shows up with invitations to his Birthday party... All of the boys in the class were invited except TWO...
(yes...Dane was left out...) -this is the first time that Wenche has left Dane off of the list..but not the first time that she has excluded one or two children from the birthday party.
Last year she invited the entire class boys & girls.. but left ONE little girl off of the list because she has an egg allergy & couldn't be bothered worrying about what she may or may not eat.
HELLO? WHO DOES THIS? who excludes A child?- as a show of solidarity all of the little girls boycotted the party.. & Wenche was labeled a freak by the girls mothers... (or so I have heard through the grapevine...)
There is a rule at school (or so I thought) that if you don't invite ALL of the boys in the class, then you don't bring the invitations to school... fair enough... but I don't understand what the difference is between 10 or 12 boys ... 2 extra cups of jello? not like the parties are any big deal..
"Prince" of course passed out in the invitations in class leaving 2 boys out....
I was pissed! I think it was a bigger deal for me, than it was for Dane....
By mid week... there was a cancellation & Dane would be invited after all... (LUCKY US) Dane told Prince"Thanks, but no thanks...if there wasn't room for Magnus then he wouldn't be going either..."
The next day Prince returns to school to invite Magnus... (I was pretty sure that Magnus would accept..) Nope, Magnus didn't want to go either....
Dane talked to Prince yesterday & turned out the party was pretty much a FLOP..only 2 boys showed up... (nothing to do with Dane 6 Magnus...)
So the EVIL MOMMY that can be in my head thought...
lets see how it feels when 19 invitations go out..& EVERYONE is invited except you... not fun is it?
I went on my walk this morning...
(I have been up 5 am walking for the past 4 mornings..woo hoo gooooo me!)
& I started thinking about Prince face as he learned how it felt to be the one left out.....
Not fun is it little "Princey Poo"... not fun at all.....
maybe WENCHE should think about this next year....
the more I walked..the more I thought about it....
Damn... Damn the "good" Tressa
that always has to pop when I am finally ready to stand up & teach all of the mean people in the world a lesson...
I can not be that mean... my problem isn't with Prince...my problem is with his FREAK of a mother... There have been many times Dane didn't want to invited one kid or another... & I told him TOO BAD... it is all or nothing...
NO ONE LIKES TO BE LEFT OUT
Those are the lessons that we as parents, are supposed to be teaching our children... our school is very big on the "anti-bullying" but when you exclude a child from parties & games & we as parents go along with it...isn't that a form of bullying?
Dane was actually the one last night, that said he felt bad for PRINCE & that maybe we should invite him to avoid the BAD KARMA.... (he really is a smart kid)
So Prince is getting an invitation... I know if I had excluded a child & that child came with an invite a few days later I would feel like a total ASS.... not sure that Wenche is wired like that...
I am pretty sure that PRINCE won't be allowed to come to the party ANYWAY...
last year I hired a lady to do special effects makeup on the boys...& Princes mom was PISSED..not pissed about the fake gunshot wounds etc... but because the lady put WAX in Prince's hair.. & now his hair was "ruined"... (he was BANNED from coming to our house for a month because I had RUINED his hair...)
So to summarize my long RAMBLING POST....
WENCHE... you SUCK... & I do not...
I am going to be the bigger person.
UPDATE... (like this is breaking news or something..)
I thought this was a good question..especially if your not a mom & were never one of the kids who was left out..
Makeup Theory has left a new comment on your post "Mean Mothers SUCK!": "Okay, all of the moms - don't attack me here. I am NOT a mother and I don't ever want to be, so these things may escape me. But here goes...as adults, we do not invite people we don't like to come to our homes and hang out with us. If I had a fancy dinner party and felt obligated to invite someone I genuinely didn't like and thought they'd be a sucky conversationalist, I'd be upset. And in turn it would ruin my party - for me (and possibly others). Why must children invite people they don't like to their parties? What lesson are they learning? Kids have no rights? Maybe the problem isn't the invites, but doing them at school. But even mailing them would not really help. Kids are mean. They'd still tell the other kids who were left out that there was a party and YOU weren't there. I'm just asking - is there a good way to solve this? I'm not starting a fight.
FIRST.. OK Make up Theory...Bring it ON! I am K I D D I N G...
I should have maybe pointed out that the boys are FRIENDS.. (for the most part...) there are 6 of the 10 boys in class which live on 2 streets... MOST of the time the boys all play together... over at each others houses... so the "Prince" isn't just some random kid... I totally agree with MUT (make up theory...) If I was having a party I wouldn't invite someone I didn't like... However I think when it comes to children... everyone deserves a chance..& one little 5,6,9 year old isn't going to ruin your party.... however being the only kid left out can be really hurtful... In my OPINION there never any reason for an adult to help single a child out from the group....
Iagree with Lady Fi as well "That means that not everyone is invited and we're all cool with that. After all, you shouldn't feel forced to invite everyone anyway, especially if they don't all play together at school. However, we all give out invited privately and never ever at school and we never leave out just one or two kids - that is just mean, mean, mean... The usual thing is that 12 kids are invited out of 26 so that no one feels left out as the majority are not invited."
I don't invite the ENTIRE 4th grade...I wouldn't expect my child to be invited to every birthday party.. but when you are talking about a small group of boys/girls who all live by /play with each other..then I think it is WRONG to leave one or two children out of the group.
Am I overreacting?
P.S the little Prince was very happy to be invited..
Comments
Please don't punish the kid for the action of his mum... it's not his fault.
I know that you are upset, but I wonder if exposing the mum like this really helps... (I'm not lecturing... just wondering. If I've gone over the line, then I'm really really sorry.)
In the words of the Dalai Lama:
When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.
Point taken... We are inviting the little boy because like I said... I think it is TOTALLY WRONG to exclude one or 2 children... like this mother always seems to do..& as far as calling her by name... she doesn't read my blog anyway... I really REALLY would love to give her a piece of my mind one day... I think she is totally wrong fro trying to divide the class.. it is such a small class anyway, & this kids will be in the same class together for the next 4 years so why play these kinds of games?
Maybe the problem isn't the invites, but doing them at school. But even mailing them would not really help. Kids are mean. They'd still tell the other kids who were left out that there was a party and YOU weren't there.
I'm just asking - is there a good way to solve this? I'm not starting a fight.
Are you going to have punk rock face painting at the guitar hero party? That would be slammin'(can't pull off cool lingo in person either!)
By the time the kids were around 9 or 10, they gave up on a party and instead chose a fun outing with one or two friends (amusement park, movies, laser tag, sleepover), along with a quiet family gathering for cake and presents.
That said, inviting all except one or two kids is just mean, I agree. I guess I'm glad our standard for birthday parties is a bit lower here!
Mail the invites next time, beeyoch!
(Our kindergarten has the same rule, as far as one boy, all the boys. None of the kids do this though and usually mail the few invites, as it seems more people are going for the smaller crowd. Oldest gets this, and knows there are plenty of parties he will/won't get invited to. It is a good lesson on how excluding is sometimes financially driven, not mean spirited. But this particular mom sounds like a hag. Sorry!! Major kudos to Dane for saying T-N-T.)
Yes, kids will get left out, and I worried about this as well, as far as Oldest hearing about the party at school, but you'd be surprised, as I was, that most kids aren't that mean spirited, and it's usually not that big of a deal.
However, when they get overlooked as invites are being physically handed out, ouch, that would hurt. As an adult, it would hurt to have someone tell you all about this fantastic party she is throwing, then turn to her left and ask that person, but walk away from you.
It's just not polite.
As parents, it is our obligation to teach our children manners (sending invites in the mail, not bragging about a small party, etc.), as well as perfectly legitimate reasons why they would be excluded. - Em
I think you did the right thing in inviting the Mean Mommy's Prince! I am glad you were the bigger person.
I think it's either out of arrogance or lack of etiquette thereof, to be giving out the invites infront of those who are left out! Unless, you're running for political office and you want to rub it in the face of your opponent then I say go for it! I don't know Wenche personally but if she was a show-off then she did a good job being one! Our kids' behaviors are always a reflection of our parenting unless someone else disagrees. No attacks needed. I'm just stating a point.
So if there is someone to kick, it would be the mom. I think inviting Prince and giving him positive influence in his life may radiate to her mother!
I'll cross my fingers and toes for you! :)
But you know I think it makes children more resilient in the long run because its real life. In some ways I thnk that parents worry more than the child does. We do not always get invitations to things or get chosen.
And to be honest in this case I think the parent sounds a little strange so maybe its best not to attend their parties anyway.
I think you are right, rise above it all and just continue to treat others as you want to be treated. Its tough but you get there and survive..eventually.
On the other hand, I think it would only be a bad reflection of you, and in the long run make you feel bad for acting the same in return.
We can only feel bad for these suck-y people and their poor children, and be happy we're not them.
Always take the high road sista.
I am glad that you are inviting the prince. I do think that at some point you might want to have a little talk with his hag mother. Had we stayed in our school more than the one year, I probably would have a word or two to say to that mother. Really, how rude to invite 27 out of 30.
p.s. So sorry I've been MIA. Congrats on Dane's birthday - and reaching your anniversary! Yay for you!! :)
wenche sounds just like this little girl in my community... ick! she will NEVER get it!
her mum must have hated me... what a skank!
I hate that this kind of mess happens but it's always better to be the bigger person. Glad you invited Prince b/c I think it's the mom that has issues not the kid. You made the right decision! Go you!
On the other hand I can totally see why you are upset about this woman. I would be too.
What you write in your blog is up to you. Anyone who is offended just has to click the little cross at the top right hand corner. I guess with over 100 followers, though, you have to expect the critical comments.
And Vent/rant away. That's what blogs are for, right?