Mean Mothers SUCK!

I would like to dedicate this post to Wenche...a MEAN mother...

(Bare with me through this post because my head is ALL OVER THE PLACE...)

So last week, Wenche's son, lets call him "PRINCE" ... shows up with invitations to his Birthday party... All of the boys in the class were invited except TWO...

(yes...Dane was left out...) -this is the first time that Wenche has left Dane off of the list..but not the first time that she has excluded one or two children from the birthday party.

Last year she invited the entire class boys & girls.. but left ONE little girl off of the list because she has an egg allergy & couldn't be bothered worrying about what she may or may not eat.

HELLO? WHO DOES THIS? who excludes A child?- as a show of solidarity all of the little girls boycotted the party.. & Wenche was labeled a freak by the girls mothers... (or so I have heard through the grapevine...)

There is a rule at school (or so I thought) that if you don't invite ALL of the boys in the class, then you don't bring the invitations to school... fair enough... but I don't understand what the difference is between 10 or 12 boys ... 2 extra cups of jello? not like the parties are any big deal..

"Prince" of course passed out in the invitations in class leaving 2 boys out....

I was pissed! I think it was a bigger deal for me, than it was for Dane....

By mid week... there was a cancellation & Dane would be invited after all... (LUCKY US) Dane told Prince"Thanks, but no thanks...if there wasn't room for Magnus then he wouldn't be going either..."
The next day Prince returns to school to invite Magnus... (I was pretty sure that Magnus would accept..) Nope, Magnus didn't want to go either....

Dane talked to Prince yesterday & turned out the party was pretty much a FLOP..only 2 boys showed up... (nothing to do with Dane 6 Magnus...)

So the EVIL MOMMY that can be in my head thought...
lets see how it feels when 19 invitations go out..& EVERYONE is invited except you... not fun is it?

I went on my walk this morning...
(I have been up 5 am walking for the past 4 mornings..woo hoo gooooo me!)
& I started thinking about Prince face as he learned how it felt to be the one left out.....
Not fun is it little "Princey Poo"... not fun at all.....
maybe WENCHE should think about this next year....

the more I walked..the more I thought about it....
Damn... Damn the "good" Tressa
that always has to pop when I am finally ready to stand up & teach all of the mean people in the world a lesson...

I can not be that mean... my problem isn't with Prince...my problem is with his FREAK of a mother... There have been many times Dane didn't want to invited one kid or another... & I told him TOO BAD... it is all or nothing...
NO ONE LIKES TO BE LEFT OUT

Those are the lessons that we as parents, are supposed to be teaching our children... our school is very big on the "anti-bullying" but when you exclude a child from parties & games & we as parents go along with it...isn't that a form of bullying?

Dane was actually the one last night, that said he felt bad for PRINCE & that maybe we should invite him to avoid the BAD KARMA.... (he really is a smart kid)



So Prince is getting an invitation... I know if I had excluded a child & that child came with an invite a few days later I would feel like a total ASS.... not sure that Wenche is wired like that...



I am pretty sure that PRINCE won't be allowed to come to the party ANYWAY...
last year I hired a lady to do special effects makeup on the boys...& Princes
mom was PISSED..not pissed about the fake gunshot wounds etc... but because the lady put WAX in Prince's hair.. & now his hair was "ruined"... (he was BANNED from coming to our house for a month because I had RUINED his hair...)

So to summarize my long RAMBLING POST....

WENCHE... you SUCK... & I do not...
I am going to be the bigger person.

UPDATE... (like this is breaking news or something..)


I thought this was a good question..especially if your not a mom & were never one of the kids who was left out..

Makeup Theory has left a new comment on your post "Mean Mothers SUCK!": "Okay, all of the moms - don't attack me here. I am NOT a mother and I don't ever want to be, so these things may escape me. But here goes...as adults, we do not invite people we don't like to come to our homes and hang out with us. If I had a fancy dinner party and felt obligated to invite someone I genuinely didn't like and thought they'd be a sucky conversationalist, I'd be upset. And in turn it would ruin my party - for me (and possibly others). Why must children invite people they don't like to their parties? What lesson are they learning? Kids have no rights? Maybe the problem isn't the invites, but doing them at school. But even mailing them would not really help. Kids are mean. They'd still tell the other kids who were left out that there was a party and YOU weren't there. I'm just asking - is there a good way to solve this? I'm not starting a fight.

FIRST.. OK Make up Theory...Bring it ON! I am K I D D I N G...

I should have maybe pointed out that the boys are FRIENDS.. (for the most part...) there are 6 of the 10 boys in class which live on 2 streets... MOST of the time the boys all play together... over at each others houses... so the "Prince" isn't just some random kid... I totally agree with MUT (make up theory...) If I was having a party I wouldn't invite someone I didn't like... However I think when it comes to children... everyone deserves a chance..& one little 5,6,9 year old isn't going to ruin your party.... however being the only kid left out can be really hurtful... In my OPINION there never any reason for an adult to help single a child out from the group....

Iagree with Lady Fi as well "That means that not everyone is invited and we're all cool with that. After all, you shouldn't feel forced to invite everyone anyway, especially if they don't all play together at school. However, we all give out invited privately and never ever at school and we never leave out just one or two kids - that is just mean, mean, mean... The usual thing is that 12 kids are invited out of 26 so that no one feels left out as the majority are not invited."

I don't invite the ENTIRE 4th grade...I wouldn't expect my child to be invited to every birthday party.. but when you are talking about a small group of boys/girls who all live by /play with each other..then I think it is WRONG to leave one or two children out of the group.
Am I overreacting?
P.S the little Prince was very happy to be invited..

Comments

LadyFi said…
This is a dilemma faced by many. We have a rule in Sweden that says no invitations to be given out at school unless everyone is invited. With 26 in the class, it is impossible to invite everyone home unless you have a huge house/basement, which most of us don't. That means that not everyone is invited and we're all cool with that. After all, you shouldn't feel forced to invite everyone anyway, especially if they don't all play together at school. However, we all give out invited privately and never ever at school and we never leave out just one or two kids - that is just mean, mean, mean... The usual thing is that 12 kids are invited out of 26 so that no one feels left out as the majority are not invited.

Please don't punish the kid for the action of his mum... it's not his fault.

I know that you are upset, but I wonder if exposing the mum like this really helps... (I'm not lecturing... just wondering. If I've gone over the line, then I'm really really sorry.)

In the words of the Dalai Lama:
When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.
MsTypo said…
In some way you have to feel sorry for this woman. She has gone through her entire life knowing her parents thought she was a Wench. I mean its one thing to grow up to be a complete wench - but she's been one for a long time. :p
Unknown said…
Hey Lady Fi...
Point taken... We are inviting the little boy because like I said... I think it is TOTALLY WRONG to exclude one or 2 children... like this mother always seems to do..& as far as calling her by name... she doesn't read my blog anyway... I really REALLY would love to give her a piece of my mind one day... I think she is totally wrong fro trying to divide the class.. it is such a small class anyway, & this kids will be in the same class together for the next 4 years so why play these kinds of games?
Unknown said…
Cairo... I am PRETTY sure there is something wrong with her... (not just being bitchy here...) but then maybe it is time for Dad to step in & say Whoa.... lets all place nice shall we?
Simple Answer said…
Isn't it great to blog? A soul releasing rant can be all that is needed. Mean moms do suck.
Makeup Theory said…
Okay, all of the moms - don't attack me here. I am NOT a mother and I don't ever want to be, so these things may escape me. But here goes...as adults, we do not invite people we don't like to come to our homes and hang out with us. If I had a fancy dinner party and felt obligated to invite someone I genuinely didn't like and thought they'd be a sucky conversationalist, I'd be upset. And in turn it would ruin my party - for me (and possibly others). Why must children invite people they don't like to their parties? What lesson are they learning? Kids have no rights?

Maybe the problem isn't the invites, but doing them at school. But even mailing them would not really help. Kids are mean. They'd still tell the other kids who were left out that there was a party and YOU weren't there.

I'm just asking - is there a good way to solve this? I'm not starting a fight.
Becky said…
I'm glad you invited the little Prince. It never feels good when you'be stooped to something lesser than we are.

Are you going to have punk rock face painting at the guitar hero party? That would be slammin'(can't pull off cool lingo in person either!)
Mary Ellen said…
When my kids were small, I was only able to invite a small number of kids to their parties - never more than 10 - because of space and financial constraints. We were lucky, I guess, because inviting everyone in the class(which would have been at least 24 kids, and sometimes more) was not expected. Usually we had about 6-8 kids, all playmates or teammates plus some parents and a few siblings.

By the time the kids were around 9 or 10, they gave up on a party and instead chose a fun outing with one or two friends (amusement park, movies, laser tag, sleepover), along with a quiet family gathering for cake and presents.

That said, inviting all except one or two kids is just mean, I agree. I guess I'm glad our standard for birthday parties is a bit lower here!
Unknown said…
What comes around goes around I say. There are ways around inviting huge numbers of friends that don't involve hurting kids' feelings. I'm sorry that happened to your boy!
Kelly said…
I think it's great that you chose your blog to vent about this person rather than to her face as that would accomplish nada.
Ash said…
Oh, I can just picture Prince's face when only two kiddos showed up - breaks my heart. The mom sounds completely clueless, mean and oblivious to how it is effecting her child.

Mail the invites next time, beeyoch!

(Our kindergarten has the same rule, as far as one boy, all the boys. None of the kids do this though and usually mail the few invites, as it seems more people are going for the smaller crowd. Oldest gets this, and knows there are plenty of parties he will/won't get invited to. It is a good lesson on how excluding is sometimes financially driven, not mean spirited. But this particular mom sounds like a hag. Sorry!! Major kudos to Dane for saying T-N-T.)
Ash said…
Makeup Theory - I hear you about when you're older, it is a good lesson for the kiddos, and that is why mailing the invites is the best way to do it, IMO.

Yes, kids will get left out, and I worried about this as well, as far as Oldest hearing about the party at school, but you'd be surprised, as I was, that most kids aren't that mean spirited, and it's usually not that big of a deal.

However, when they get overlooked as invites are being physically handed out, ouch, that would hurt. As an adult, it would hurt to have someone tell you all about this fantastic party she is throwing, then turn to her left and ask that person, but walk away from you.

It's just not polite.

As parents, it is our obligation to teach our children manners (sending invites in the mail, not bragging about a small party, etc.), as well as perfectly legitimate reasons why they would be excluded. - Em
Unknown said…
Hahaha, Crazy mommy politics. And I thought everyone always played nice in mommy world. Have a thing or two to learn!! Stopping by from SITS to give a little bloggy love. Wow Norway. I have never left the states, so how is Norway??
Gamma Sharon said…
My opinion... for what its worth. Kids are still learning to be grown ups and that means the parents are still teaching. It is always best to try and be fair and to teach your kids that as well.
I think you did the right thing in inviting the Mean Mommy's Prince! I am glad you were the bigger person.
MaricrisG said…
My daughter recently celebrated her birthday and though she doesn't go to a proper school yet, she does go to a Martial Arts school and get along with all her classmates, but not all of them got invited, our standing rule is just to invite kids she's friends with and new friends she really like. We're not being mean about being selective, but its' easier to deal with during the party and not create unwarranted stress! Also we always give the invites privately, not in class!

I think it's either out of arrogance or lack of etiquette thereof, to be giving out the invites infront of those who are left out! Unless, you're running for political office and you want to rub it in the face of your opponent then I say go for it! I don't know Wenche personally but if she was a show-off then she did a good job being one! Our kids' behaviors are always a reflection of our parenting unless someone else disagrees. No attacks needed. I'm just stating a point.

So if there is someone to kick, it would be the mom. I think inviting Prince and giving him positive influence in his life may radiate to her mother!

I'll cross my fingers and toes for you! :)
Anonymous said…
you make me glad my girls are now in their twenties! Sorry for your stress...It is a difficult situation for sure..I remember those problems not so fondley also..Kids should not be intentionaly hurt just because their parents are idiots...you did the right thing..Shi~
Lilly said…
I don't think you are overeacting, Every mother feels for her children. And its kind of cruel to hand them out at school and then for only a couple to be left off.

But you know I think it makes children more resilient in the long run because its real life. In some ways I thnk that parents worry more than the child does. We do not always get invitations to things or get chosen.

And to be honest in this case I think the parent sounds a little strange so maybe its best not to attend their parties anyway.

I think you are right, rise above it all and just continue to treat others as you want to be treated. Its tough but you get there and survive..eventually.
Laura said…
Mean mothers DO suck, and unfortunately for everyone usually their spawn turn into miniature versions of them pretty quickly.

On the other hand, I think it would only be a bad reflection of you, and in the long run make you feel bad for acting the same in return.

We can only feel bad for these suck-y people and their poor children, and be happy we're not them.

Always take the high road sista.
Betsy said…
This happened to Darling Son #1 in Kindergarten. Despite the school rule that if invites were passed out at school all kids must be invited, DS#1 was one of 3 kids out of 30 not invited to a swim party. He was devastated. We were simply the odd military family there for only a year or two and they didn't give a crap about making my kids feel welcome. I was pissed! I did not blame the child, but the hag mother. It went so far as the other mothers ignored me at all events.

I am glad that you are inviting the prince. I do think that at some point you might want to have a little talk with his hag mother. Had we stayed in our school more than the one year, I probably would have a word or two to say to that mother. Really, how rude to invite 27 out of 30.
Karyn said…
If it were me, and my kids aren't party age yet, but living on a military base, ADULT party invites go out through the neighborhood all of the time and I can't tell you how many times I HAVE NOT been invited to Bunko night with cosmos when it is discussed right in front of me, hello??? just rude.... I would be the bigger mom and invite the kiddo regardless of whether or not we were invited to HIS party. But I would probably turn around and have a girls night out and invite all the moms, EXCEPT for the Wench, right in front of her, and the invites would be super adorable and promising of a good time ;)
Jill said…
Mean mothers DO suck... what a yukky dilemma. I think it's great that you took the upper hand and invited the kid regardless of how she treated your munchkin.

p.s. So sorry I've been MIA. Congrats on Dane's birthday - and reaching your anniversary! Yay for you!! :)
MaryRC said…
there is a girl in my daughter's grade level that snobs her all year and then in the month of april decides she is my daughters friend (after she burns bridges with all the other girls) and always gets invited! i DID NOT want to invite her to my girl's birthday this year, but it was her choice not mine. and yes she was the trouble maker and pot stirrer! it sux.

wenche sounds just like this little girl in my community... ick! she will NEVER get it!
Sam said…
ok so when i was like 10 my twin brother got an invite for this girls birthday WHO LIVED ON THE SAME STREET! as did everyone else in the class... i remember being totally gutted. i dont know to this day why i wasn't invited, we were good friends at school.

her mum must have hated me... what a skank!
Hana said…
ok....that was a whole lotta ranting. Glad you did it here rather than in public. I find punching a pillow to be therapeutic so maybe trying that will help you let off some steam rather than putting that all on your blog. You might look back later and think why did I invest an entire blog post to that crazy woman! LOL! I guess I'm not used to reading such harsh words but thats probably b/c I read a lot of "mommy" blogs.

I hate that this kind of mess happens but it's always better to be the bigger person. Glad you invited Prince b/c I think it's the mom that has issues not the kid. You made the right decision! Go you!
Lacy Kline said…
I totally agree with you. It would have been one thing if "Prince" had only invited a couple of kids, but all boys except two WTF. I can't believe a Mom would do this so blatantly. Then for "Prince" to invite Dane after one boy canceled that's just weird. Kudos to you for being the bigger person. Some parents are just CRAZY!
Mum-me said…
Well now that I've read the original post I can see why some 'nice' mums would be upset at what you wrote. (It could be that they are the ones who would ban their child from your house because you 'ruined' their child's hair.)

On the other hand I can totally see why you are upset about this woman. I would be too.

What you write in your blog is up to you. Anyone who is offended just has to click the little cross at the top right hand corner. I guess with over 100 followers, though, you have to expect the critical comments.
Lizzie said…
wow, talk about a big discussion! you did right mama, by the way :) but i do agree hat his mom is a WACKO!!!!!
sues2u2 said…
Tough dilema but you solved it in a great manner as usual & kudos to Dane for being such a smart kid. Too bad Prince's mum is such a stick in the mud. Pretty sad for Prince as well though.

And Vent/rant away. That's what blogs are for, right?
MsTypo said…
I reread your recent post and reread my comment here... I hope you didn't think i was criticizing you. I was honestly just amused at her name and, in a typical typoesque way poorly trying to make you feel better by mocking her. I really didn't mean to upset you. Sorry. :(

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