He's just not that into you..... my 2 cents
OK...I just have to throw this out there...
I am sure "He's just not that into you" is a very hard thing to hear....
But believe me... it is a hard thing to say... so hard in fact, most of us won't say it. We don't want to hurt your feelings... & rather be there for you when you FINALLY get a CLUE.
But it needs to be said....
I encountered several girlfriends while at home that I wanted to...should have said-...
"GIRL...he's just not that into you.... walk...no, RUN the other way... you are wasting your time on something that just ain't going to happen..." ( & if you do manage to WEAR him down to the point of giving into marrying you... neither of you will EVER be happy...)
I should have taken a few of you by the shoulders & stood you in front of the mirror & made you see what I SEE... you are a SMART, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL woman & you are selling your self short.... There is such a fine line between being supportive & being honest & hurting feelings.
I am honest for the most part... I will tell you when he is being an ass & that you deserve better than you are getting... but I don't have the balls to do what I would really like to do & that is SHAKE you & tell you you are being pathetic.
I am so thankful that I have a mother & sisters who never had a problem telling me when I was being PATHETIC ... (just once... cause y'all know I was always the BOMB, anyhoo)
But along with all of the other old hens, shaking our heads as you told us of yet another DICKISH thing jerko had done ... non of us thought we a had the RIGHT to tell you this...
(in all fairness, said JERKO may not really be a jerk... he just seems like a jerk because...HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU... he might be Prince Charming for some other girl.)
I have a girlfriend who is B E A U T I F U L..... I am talking men stop on the street & look because she is that pretty, SMART, SUCCESSFUL, KIND... She waited around 20 TWENTY years for Prince Charming to pop the question.... Of course over the 20 years they would break up, get back together.... she would date some really nice guys but as soon as "jerko" would want to give it another try, she would go running.... We asked her through the years what was going on & she would always say she didn't want to "pressure" him... while she waited & waited & waited....
Well last spring they broke up for good.... 2 months after he broke up with her he married someone else... she saw the pictures on FACEBOOK... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WTF??...
Sad thing is, this isn't even uncommon.... it happens all of the time.... You give the best years of your life TRYING to make something happen... DON'T DO IT!
Does this sound like I may be talking to you? if so,then I am... We all are... we just don't have the guts to say it to your face & hurt your feelings.... You are too good to sell yourself short....
If Prince Charming is really meant to be... he will move heaven & earth to be with you...right guys? & if he ISN'T...then he is just killing time until Mrs. Right comes along... you don't want to just be the Ms. Time killer do you?
OK... just my 2 cents....
(good time to send your girlfriends who need a good shaking on over to my blog...maybe they will take the hint....)
I am sure "He's just not that into you" is a very hard thing to hear....
But believe me... it is a hard thing to say... so hard in fact, most of us won't say it. We don't want to hurt your feelings... & rather be there for you when you FINALLY get a CLUE.
But it needs to be said....
I encountered several girlfriends while at home that I wanted to...should have said-...
"GIRL...he's just not that into you.... walk...no, RUN the other way... you are wasting your time on something that just ain't going to happen..." ( & if you do manage to WEAR him down to the point of giving into marrying you... neither of you will EVER be happy...)
I should have taken a few of you by the shoulders & stood you in front of the mirror & made you see what I SEE... you are a SMART, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL woman & you are selling your self short.... There is such a fine line between being supportive & being honest & hurting feelings.
I am honest for the most part... I will tell you when he is being an ass & that you deserve better than you are getting... but I don't have the balls to do what I would really like to do & that is SHAKE you & tell you you are being pathetic.
I am so thankful that I have a mother & sisters who never had a problem telling me when I was being PATHETIC ... (just once... cause y'all know I was always the BOMB, anyhoo)
But along with all of the other old hens, shaking our heads as you told us of yet another DICKISH thing jerko had done ... non of us thought we a had the RIGHT to tell you this...
(in all fairness, said JERKO may not really be a jerk... he just seems like a jerk because...HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU... he might be Prince Charming for some other girl.)
I have a girlfriend who is B E A U T I F U L..... I am talking men stop on the street & look because she is that pretty, SMART, SUCCESSFUL, KIND... She waited around 20 TWENTY years for Prince Charming to pop the question.... Of course over the 20 years they would break up, get back together.... she would date some really nice guys but as soon as "jerko" would want to give it another try, she would go running.... We asked her through the years what was going on & she would always say she didn't want to "pressure" him... while she waited & waited & waited....
Well last spring they broke up for good.... 2 months after he broke up with her he married someone else... she saw the pictures on FACEBOOK... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WTF??...
Sad thing is, this isn't even uncommon.... it happens all of the time.... You give the best years of your life TRYING to make something happen... DON'T DO IT!
Does this sound like I may be talking to you? if so,then I am... We all are... we just don't have the guts to say it to your face & hurt your feelings.... You are too good to sell yourself short....
If Prince Charming is really meant to be... he will move heaven & earth to be with you...right guys? & if he ISN'T...then he is just killing time until Mrs. Right comes along... you don't want to just be the Ms. Time killer do you?
OK... just my 2 cents....
(good time to send your girlfriends who need a good shaking on over to my blog...maybe they will take the hint....)
Comments
Now i have a few people i need to randomly and innocently send over here to read thsi post. :p
This is also one of my favorite pieces of advice:
Boys are not worth crying over. And the one who is ..... won't make you cry!
How true is that! I enjoy your blog and glad you had a nice visit in the US.
A few years later, I read this book and it changed how I looked at dating. It helped me to see the "games" and how to avoid them. So many people don't like this book, but I did and it helped me to relax and enjoy dating!
Now...9 years after that on again, off again relationship, I'm getting married to a guy who is the best fit for me! : )
Thank you for being a good friend to your friends and writing this post!!
"NO GUY WANTS TO MEET A GIRL, GET ENGAGED, GET MARRIED, AND HAVE BABIES ALL WITHIN 30 MINUTES."
Whew. I needed to get that off my chest.
Great post!!!!!!
But you know what... I'm the girl who's not too scared to say "he's/she's not that into you" and they don't listen.
Some people just have to make their own mistakes. Doesn't stop me from wanting to shake them tho.....
And I don't think you're the kind of person to hold back when one of your girlfriends' happiness is on the line. You've got more balls than most men I know. :D
I'd love to send this to a friend of mine, but I think we've told her a few times too many. At least she dumped the guy - good riddance!