My thoughts on..... RANDOM

Happy Monday everyone..... I thought I would try a Friday Fragment...um, on Monday... I have so many things on my mind... none of which deserve a post...(well one maybe)... so I thought I would get it all out there to start the week with a clean slate.... (my therapy if you will...)

weekend wrap up...

***Valentines Day...NADA... (in all fairness, Bjørn asked me if I wanted to to do something) I wanted to pop Midol & lay in the fetal position all day, instead.... we made a run for the border (Swedish) for a little cheap-er chicken & BOOZE...
EXCITING Sweden shopping news...(only expats will understand my excitement)... I found CAPTAIN CRUNCH granted it was $20 per box...WITHOUT crunch berries... COME ON PEOPLE, no crunch berries? who's zooming who?

Oh my honey did get me skis downhill & cross country... this week I promise to practice the cross country bit... Thank you honey....LOVE YOU.

****I am a Grown up..I know that I must really be a grown up now, honey asked me what I wanted for my birthday... "Nothing....oh, just finish my Honey DO list & I will be happy" - I think, he thinks its a trick but seriously I want for nothing...

EXCEPT...Secret Deodorant, Redken Shampoo, & Velveeta...(again, only expats will understand this) which I think my little sister is taken care of... thanks sis....

Oh ya, & hitting 100 followers... (now I am getting a bit pathetic aren't I?--- but I think you are allowed to beg for your birthday...Its in Bloggers rules...)

** My first love turned up on Face Book last week..... The Love Boat... Part deux... Ooooo... How WEIRD is it that NOTHING is left to the imagination? We can both see how the other is doing & what we have been up to for the last 13 years....is it even WEIRDER that Hubby & I talked about it? (I am thinking it is a good thing) I know that I am right where I am supposed to be...

***SERIOUS....
I kind of feel like this isn't my post to write...because it wasn't my friend... but it has affected us..

On Friday, my B I L's friend shot himself....I said something to Bjørn about it & of course Dane overheard me....

This was a a 25 year old KID... I don't get it.... I probably wouldn't be posting anything about it if my 9 year old wouldn't keep bringing it up... Of course it wasn't my intention for Dane to find out, but now that he knows...& wants to talk about it... What are the answers as to "WHY? WHY would he do that mom? "

I had forgotten that this guy sat & entertained all of the little ones at my sisters wedding... but Dane remembered... Dane remembers what a nice guy he was.... He played Hangman with Dane & let Dane cheat him out of about $5...(Dane was playing Hangman with Norwegian words...) He sat at our table at the reception.... & Dane spent a lot of the night talking to him.

What do you tell a child about suicide?

I tried my best to explain something for which I have no answers....

"He must have been in a very dark, sad place.... but he should have called someone...there is always a way out, even if he couldn't see it...." He had a lot of friends who loved him....

Dane told me this morning..."mom, I think he made a bad decision...." "ya honey, I think you are right..."

Thoughts? Advice on the subject?

Comments

Unknown said…
This is one I haven't wanted to deal with just like any kind of death. I don't know what you could say. I think you did fine though by saying he should have called someone and saying there is always a way out. Sometimes I think that's the best we can do for our kids, just be honest.
Simple Answer said…
No crunch berries? still, I mighta coughed up the dough.

I had two friends commit suicide this summer. Heartbreaking. We just tried to impress on the girls that there was no dark place they could ever go that we wouldn't be willing to do everything possible to get them out. They are just too important to us. But I've never seen that dark of a place, so I don't know if these people were able to see any way out. Both had kids. That was the crushing blow.
I just had a friend commit suicide as well. He had just been arrested for something adn was about to start his trial. He called his ex wife and asked to see his little boy before the trial started and she said no. That's when he did it. I think he felt like his life was hopeless at that point. But the thing is, there is always hope. It's amazing how many of his friends came out of the woodwork for his funeral. If he had known so many cared about him, maybe he wouldn't have done it?

I think you handled things well with Dane. That's a tough subject even for adults! It's good ya'll talked about it.
FROGGITY! said…
oh man. that's a tough one!

i don't have advice, but i do know that you can't go wrong. there's no delicate way really to put it- you know your child best and what he can handle. i am sure you, being a great mom from what i can tell- will say what's right!

20 dollars for cap'n crunch?! no crunch berries?! wha-wha-what?!
FROGGITY! said…
p.s. on the subject of cap'n crunch- if i had a rap name it would be cap'n crunk. unfortunately, me being the goob i am, googled it and cap'n crunk already exists. darn.
omg, so many things to say. First, I loved your blog. second, crunch berries are so yum. I even like the peanut butter cap'n crunch! third, secret deo is amazing and the only thing I use. As for not wanting anything but for your hub to finish his to do list, I TOTALLY get that! ha!
I'm so sorry about your BIL's friend. Those things hit home no matter if you knew the person or not. i'm very sorry.
Kelli Nørgaard said…
I agree with Blogging mama... the best thing we can give our kids is honesty. Instead of making up stories to help them cope, I think being honest with is what helps them REALLY cope .... even though it is so difficult when they look at you with those expectant eyes. Just be honest and hug alot...
Unknown said…
Wow, what can one say- I think you gave the best explanation there is for something like that.

Oh and for your birthday present I will follow you. *g*
Karen said…
Oh....that is a hard one. My heart breaks for all those who love your BIL friend. We had to talk to our kids about a while back. My husband had an Uncle who put us in this situation. We tried to explain that depression is an illness and if left untreated that it often kills people. They were still pretty little, so I don't know how much it helped, but it seemed to answer the questions for them. Lots of hugs to you all.
amelia bedelia said…
$20 for Captain Crunch! I can't get over that! Do you want me to send you some velveeta. Because I know I couldn't live without it!
Khadra said…
oh that is so sad. I dont know what I would say, but you definitely have to say something. This one is going to leave a lasting impression on him.
The Blonde Duck said…
I hope you get to feeling better! Death with young adults and children is so hard. I would just be there to talk to him about it.
Julie H said…
Oh that is so sad :(
Mary Ellen said…
I think what you said was exactly what you should have said. It's so hard to talk to your kids about the sad realities of life, but I feel it's important to be as honest as possible.

On another note, do you need an American connection for sugary cereals? I had no idea you were Cap'n Crunch deprived!
binks said…
Horribly sad.
I think you said exactly the right thing. I think I would explain a little more about hope and help. It is out there.
He said a very mature thing. I think he got it.


That weird search page says it is looking for http:// www. cre8buzz. com/ profiles/ 3036.widget.
Not sure if everyone is experience this or just me. I wanted to give you a heads up. I would just send you an email but have no address. :(
AndreaLeigh said…
i'm so sorry to hear that devastating news.

sometimes we need low key holidays, I think. and it sounds like you had one! yay for crunch berries but $20 a box? yikes!

just stopping by from sits.
Kelly said…
Man, that last one is a hard one...I don't know if you remember, but the twins grandfather killed himself when they were 8 or 9. I don't think we divulged the method...or if they knew, I don't remember them asking about it and I was with them at this time more than their parents. It sounds like you handled it well!
Stephanie said…
that is so sad :( im so sorry to hear that!

Good thing for sisters that are good at sending the essentials!! :)
MsTypo said…
I totally understand the captain crunch and secret deoderant. I buy a year's supply of the latter everytime i go back to the states.

I have no advice about the other, although i do think you handled it well. **hugs**
Lizzie said…
that's a tough one... i think you handled the discussion with your son very well. good job mom. i hope you all have a good week.
Anonymous said…
The youn man who shot himself was a tortured soul, he did let his entire family know and someone was with himfor over a week, he just slipped off and ended his pain.I do believe that God is a forgiving God and will take care of him..just let Dane know how his entire family and all his friends will have to live with his decision for the rest of their lives.

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