American in Norway

Mortified Monday..... Lets all share our mortifying moments.....OK... anyone want to play? If so...get your moment posted, leave me message & I will link back to you... I just thought we could all start the week off with a little laugh.. & so much the better when it is at somebody else's expense..am I right or am I RIGHT ? I have a LOT of very MORTIFYING moments... most of them having to do with my oldest child...god bless him... he is so much like his momma (especially when it come s to the big ol ' mouth.) I remember being a child & my mother telling me that one day she hoped I had a child just like me... & guess what? I got him... OK, one of my MOST MORTIFYING MOMENTS took place about 4 years ago when I was very pregnant with Eva... Dane had just turned 5, & had wondered out of our front yard. I found him hanging out down the street at the neighbors house. Just picture .... the perfect little" nice" family... they were all in the driveway buil...

I wish I was an earthy, outdoorsy, nester .... You know those gals who LIKE to be outside hiking..biking..exercising cause they like it? Those gals that can throw their hair back in a pony tail , no makeup & still look BEAUTIFUL? And those women who thrive on nesting in their homes... ORGANIZED... TIDY...WELL PREPARED....those that have homes that are beautiful, peaceful, picked up & always ready for company? That isn't me.... Whaaaaa ...... (gosh I think I am PMS'ing in a really BIG way...) I am in a "FRUMPY FUNK..." You know those poor women that drop 20 lbs in a week due to stress? Mmmm , that is NOT me. I am the type of person to get the step ladder to find the hidden Oreo cake things, that my mother sent to the kids 6 months ago, hidden in the back of our very high pantry. Yes that is me... & I ate ummmmmmm , 3 packs... I look like hell... (& I am not saying that for you to say... "Oh no you don't" ) Cause believe me.... I...

Yippeee.... My first award.... Thank you Rhea... Rhea is a feisty little gal over in Texas... She has been checking on me daily since Bjørns accident... sending warm wishes & good thought. She is a crazy woman with a camera & is always planning something fun for her little guys... make sure you mozey (is that a real word?) on over & pay her a visit at Texas Word Tangle Rhea has awarded me a wonderfully gorgeous award called Arte y Pico . This is Arte y Pico award originated in Uruguay from a fabulous blogger who can test your Spanish comprehension skills if you pay her a visit. Here are the rules that accompany this esteemed award.1. Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribute to the blogging community.2. Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog.3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name of and link to the blog that presented her/him with t...

I have been getting some unusal hits the last couple of day... from Springfield Ill., Kingwood , Texas, to name a few. Not that those places are unusual... but the fact that I grew up in Kingwood ... (I haven't told anyone I am blogging) ... & that my Uncle (HI Uncle John!) lives in Springfield... I thought it a bit odd.... My mother tells me this evening that my dear old DAD has been passing out the link to my BLOG... H E L L O?? First thing I thought was.."Oh my, ...Mr. BLANK was reading my blog... this isn't really geared towards my parents friends....( yesterdays post about the naked man in traction...) (just in case he missed it the first time). & then I thought about the Red...Tushy...spanking... AD that G oogle had up on my blog while Kat was here visiting today... (I must have missed that one...) N I C E... Daddy... I am glad you enjoy reading my blog... (you know he is loving that I put his picture up today) But I am not special...I am not famous... and...

OK... I am playing along with Carrie today at her Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta ... I have a lot of FAVORITE FOTOS ... I think I have several thousand pics on my computer.... but this one always makes me smile/tear up... This is of my daddy... my son & my niece Jenna.... I get all weepy when I see daddy's/ grand daddy's being all cute with their kiddos..... So here is to my daddy, who has a birthday next week... and who I am counting the weeks until I see him again.... Thanks for letting me play Carrie... & don't forget to stop by her blog... she is AMAZING! Candid Carrie

Wooo .. made it through another day.... I have decided Bjørns Dr. is just socially "special" and it has nothing to do with me.... I got lucky today... & he happened to pop in while I was visiting with the kids.... The man didn't even acknowledge my being there.... YOU- WHOOOO ... H E L L O? ... NOBODY ignores me... N O-B O D Y ! So of course , I asked a question, which he thought was stupid... like... "How many more operations do you think he will need?" *** sound of Crickets****** (wait for it.... wait for it....) EYE ROLL ... "I don't know....." Did I mention the guy is German with a VERY thick accent... and he tends to speak a blending of German & Norwegian... " Gerwegian "... But hey that's OK... Who am I to judge? Bj was moved into another room... this time with a TOILET ... (no his other room did not have a toilet) & a giant sucking machine to suck all of the yuckiness out of his bandages... in addition to the ...

I realized tonight I have several Norwegian friends reading my blog... they don't know that I know that they are reading my blog... but I KNOW ... YOU ( mmm hmm ... YOU )are reading my blog. I also realize that I should never write things that I will regret later.... I have been very upset & very stressed this past week... I am homesick, & just wish I was surrounded by my family... After bitching about Norwegian Health care...Hospitals, & culture... I would like to Apologize for generalizing..... I realize there are indeed very good hospitals... and I know many who have received very good treatment.... Bjørn is doing fine this evening...(more later) Positive things I have not mentioned (because I have been having a pity party for ONE..) since this all began on Sunday are.... * Bjørn's family who have taken care of ME since this has all started.... granted my MIL is ALWAYS, ALWAYS there for me... even when I have my breakdowns & I am not the most likable DI...

OK... my positive thinking that I was trying to start the day out with is gone.... I just don't GET IT... the culture... the medical care....etc. Just got in a bit of a "match" with my mother in law.... About the US :vs: Norway. I realize that the medical care in the states is not good for everyone... but it was good for us. The hospitals here make me SICK... I am bitter, & angry... Bjørn called at 7am this morning to say they had taken him in to check his wound... looks good... no infection, the tissue looks healthy. (having a hard time translating this into English...) they are going to operate this afternoon... Um, but he isn't sure what they are going to do.... HELLO? Can I just scream here? ARRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG... (this is the scream that shakes the world) How do you go under the knife without knowing WHAT they are going to do? My mother in law thought they might be doing the bone graph today? Ummm, don't you think they ought to put t...

I am trying to be patient... but I don't think it is working... I am scared, I am angry, & I just want to go home to the U.S. I sat in the hospital for 5 hours with BJØRN waiting for someone to come & get him... He hasn't been able to drink or eat anything all day waiting for this surgery... which should have taken place at 4pm... At 6pm I managed to catch one of the Orthopedic surgeons in the hallway. He explained that there had been a trauma... & they were going to assess the situation & let us know if they would take Bjørn or the other guy first... OK, I get that.... might be nice had someone TOLD us that.... But I get it... I appreciate the fact that they operated on Bjørn right away when he was rushed in on Sunday, even if they didn't take the time to clean his arm..beforehand. At 8pm a nurse came in & asked how many slices of bread Bjørn would like for his Kveldsmat ... (little bedtime dinner) & we both kind of looked at her & said th...

I REALLY have 5,000,000 things to do before I get back to the hospital but just wanted to share this post with you all.... I was lurking around SITS ... The Secret is in the Sauce this afternoon & I found Candid Carrie & THIS post just touched me I Once Had Your Body .... Any women, wife, mother will be able to relate Made me smile... made me think... she said all of the things I would like to... WILL say to my little girl... Pop in give her a read... You will be glad you did! Thanks Carrie for your beautiful post....

Just home from the Hospital.... They are taking Bjørn in for another operation this afternoon... Not sure what they are going to do because his Dr. is such a POMPUS A&%#. From what I understand it they are going to go in and check the bottom fracture... make sure there is no infection... clean it out again... but further I do not know... What I do know, is that they are going to put him under & that always makes me nervous. The first night I met the surgeon he kept throwing me dirty looks... and answering me like I was a moron.... I asked about Bjørns arm being shorter... and he ROLLED his eyes.... HELLO.... I don't care if his arm is shorter.... it was just a bloody question to understand what was going on... Another thing that bothers me.... it is very important for Bjørn NOT to get an infection in his "wound" What do you call it? He is open from his elbow to his wrist.... Yet his hand STILL has paint & blood on it from the accident. Isn't this someth...

OK... now that the initial shock of everything has passed... & we have all calmed down a bit...time to pull myself up & look for the funny / nice things in life.... When I was sitting in the emergency room waiting for word on Bjørn , a really young, Dr. came in... he was precious & sweet & doing a very good job keeping me informed.... He had his little clipboard & was taking notes... wanting to know if Bjørn was allergic to anything.. then he asks... Mrs. #%¤#¤#, was your husband painting???? (I didn't tell you this yesterday because I was still in a poopy mood & didn't want to share any funnies) While Bjørn was Free Falling off of our roof, the paint came with him. When they rushed him into the hospital he was covered... I mean COVERED with white paint... his head was covered... it was on his face in his eyelashes... all over his hands etc... I just thought.... "Was your husband painting?" was a pretty funny question..." Had I been M...

I just wanted to say a great big ... GIANT THANK YOU especially to all of the SITS sisters The Secret is in the Sauce ...... for all of the well wishers & your prayers. I have been at the hospital most of the day with Bjørn & Dane. I thought it was really important for Dane to see his daddy & know that he really is going to be OK. Bjørn is in good spirits & already trying to figure out how he can work from the hospital bed. His company is mailing some sort of internet card so that he can work on his laptop from the hospital .... HELLO? Hasn't even been 24 hours... Not sure if they are going to go in and operate tomorrow or on Wed. The Dr.s have now decided that they are going to have to go in and put a steel plate in by his shoulder (I thought that this was a clean break... but a bit worse than I understood last night... ) And they are already talking about a bone graph on his lower arm. They will take bone from his hip to help lengthen his arm... As long as he d...

Yesterday I was in my office (at work) when I get a hysterical phone call from Dane (my 9 year old) screaming "Daddy fell off the roof!" I (being me) became also hysterical screaming back "what do you mean? " I could hear my husband in the background... so at least I knew he was still alive.... Dane put him on the phone & he said "its my arm... I'm OK, the ambulance is on its way." I take off from work, driving like a crazy person trying to get to the hospital , all of the while keeping phone contact with Dane. I was faster than the ambulance... so I managed to get home before they left with him... THANK GOD.... so I at least got the chance to see him before they took him in. It would be hours before I would be able to see him again. It seems my darling husband, fell three stories, from the top of our roof while he was painting.... Thank GOD... he fell on his arm...(his left) I get sick to my stomach when I continue to play the "what ...

Flash Back... The LOVE Boat... The Love Boat... Part deux... Love Boat.. THE FINAL CHAPTER... I have been thinking a lot about weddings this week. I am in the midst of making a slide show for my sisters rehearsal dinner... last min shower plans... (being in Norway I am a bit behind on the game). My sisters wedding is coming together text-book. She is the perfect bride to be. She had the perfect proposal, they are the cutest couple... & after a year of preparation she is going to have the PERFECT WEDDING... Alicia & Ryan have done everything right.... Makes me think back to when I told my parents I was getting married.... (promised I would finish the "how I ended up in Norway story"...) After hubby proposed via telephone(he was in Norway... I was in LA) I called my MOTHER.. DiAnn . I don't remember her exact reaction but I think it was something like... " mmm hmmm ... " ***Sound of chirping crickets***** "Mom, aren't you excited? I'm your f...

Today was Eva's class party... bad news ... she had to be the bear.(she wanted to be a ballerina) But the cutest darn bear I have ever seen, if I say so myself! Half way through the "show" Eva tells me that she wants to dance... So I tell " go on honey, go towards the back... and get up & dance with the others." My goodness... she is 3 & I figured it was pretty silly that the teachers couldn't just let her run around with the other Ballerinas... so why not? So then she whispers " mamma ...I have to put my dress on..." I told her to go get it from her cubby ... I helped her get it on... then she whispers... "I need my slippers"Baby go ahead and get them".... Next thing I know, Eva taps me on the shoulder... mouth open screaming... but making no sound.. COVERED in BLOOD. She looked like C A R R I E (prom scene? ) (see this will teach you all...... woo haa haaa .... not letting MY baby be the ballerina...!) Of course I jump up ...

This all started on Sat. I was on the computer when my baby Eva Gabrielle (Ava Gabriella) walked into my office and announced... " Mamma ... I want to be a Princess..." I stopped dead in my tracks not believing my ears... "What, did you say?" " I wanna be a Princess..." she replied... (in English.... no less) Warm tears filled my eyes... as I called to my husband... " Honey... did you hear that? She wants to be a P-R-I-N-C-E-S-S-..." It felt like that scene from Helen Keller... the first time she says W-A- T- E- R... I don't think my husband has seen me move so fast in years.... Before my daughter could say " Spiderman " or "Pirate" I was jumping up the stairs 2 at a time... to get my " SPECIAL BOX..." I guess you could call it my "HOPE Chest" filled with everything...good, & sweet, and princessessy ... Wands, shoes, dresses.... I have been waiting for this moment for ... F O R E V E R ! Now don...

Just wanted to extend a big ol "HOWDY-DO" to my Best Friend from WIU, the college years. (S ean you are going to have to just skim through some of the crap... there are some funny bits... I promise...) 6 Random Facts (The Norwegian Version) The HOLY SH*T Diet , Lets cut the CRAP shall we? (cause I know S ean will just write me off , thinking I suck, without looking for the funny bits...) Did I mention I will be seeing Sean in like 5 weeks? Umm Hmm ... I LOVE THIS GUY! Had I not met hubby... this is the guy I would have wanted to father my children... cause he is just so damn PRETTY & the FUNNIEST guy I know ... Love ya. (And if you call or contact CS to read what I wrote about him... I will sooo kick your butt when I see you!)

OK... I will try to cut to the chase... or as my older sister would say " geez ... land the plane already" Continued**** So I call and cancel CS's flight... & spent the last week on board with NB..before flying to my parents... I remember fighting with my mother A LOT that Christmas... (we tend to like to fight over Christmas... but this year was especially bad...) She was pissed off that I was spending all of my time GUSHING over NB... As he had to spend Christmas on board without me... I was busy making all sorts of crap to send down to San Juan... Scrapbooks (of our SIX weeks.. together..an entire book?... dedication ..I tell you) Christmas hats for him & all of his friends... cookies. I think KNOW my mom thought I was a total L O O O S E R... . Really, what are the ODDS that this would turn into something? As I was busy baking cookies... or scrapbooking ... she would say... "Come on, Tressa... you will probably never see this boy again.. (I am sure sh...

OK... I have done a lot of thinking today.... I have been blogging for a few weeks & am really loving it... why? Not really sure... maybe because it is all about ME ME ME ? Who knows... but one thing I have decided is that I should just CUT THE CRAP & be myself. Love me or Leave me.... I was reading some of my first posts & frankly I am E M B A R R E S S E D... Ok ... like the post on making a cake... "BEST OF BOTH WORLDS" the comparison of Nugatti to Betty Crocker . Like really... do you even care? ( I was trying to impress you with my domestic goddessness ...) Ummm ... FAN of the Week... BULL Sh#t.... (sorry, I have to come clean...) My friends hu sband PAID me to put his picture up... umm hmmm ... He even picked the shots he wanted used! I bet he didn't plan on me posting THIS one... did you Tommy? (see, I have resorted to whoring my blog out) Dammit, I don't need to PRETEND to be popular... I just want you to like me for me.... (is it ...

After re reading the first part of "Love Boat" I realized I rushed right through all of the cute stuff... the important stuff and all of the little details. I seem to do that... Always in a hurry to get right to the end... Remember, patience is something I am working on learning... So to back track and throw in a few details... Met a sweet sweet boy... with the bluest eyes I had ever seen... Sweet & kind, thoughtful... and funny... (although I didn't understand most of what he was saying...) It was a whirlwind romance sailing in the Caribbean. I remember calling my mother from Barbados telling her I was "IN LOVE"... & asking her what was I to do?... I was flying home in 2 weeks & the CS (college sweetheart) was due to spend Christmas with my family. Now, before you start thinking I was a giant trollop, cheating on the boy back home.... I really wasn't... we had been on again ,off again for years... I honestly thought he was the boy I would end up...

I think I am addicted to blogging... I like to blog... I like to read other blogs... I can click , & click & click until the wee hours of the morning. The only problem with this of course... I have a full time job, a husband & two kids... who don't think blogging is more important then dinner. I have a million things I should be doing rather than blogging... So this will be the only blog, I blog on American in Norway today... However ... I did have an idea for ANOTHER blog... I was thinking of making another blog all about our lives on Cruise Ships. With all of the really good stories from life on board. What do you think? I could call it the "CRUISE SHIP Chronicals ?" Or "Biggest FREAKS of the Sea"..( umm , not me & hubby... the freaky passengers we used to meet.) OHHHH I have encountered soo many WEIRDOS... the stories I can tell... Or the behind the scenes of the crew... Give me a little feed back people... and suggestions for a name would ...

After reading at home with the farmer's wife & Angies Spot ... I took their idea of flashing back in time.. old photos with a story.. and per Martini's for two suggestion... I decided to go back to the very beginning.. where it all started... how I ended up in Norway... Flash back to the "Love Boat" (although the Love Boat was on Princess Cruises & we met on Royal Caribbean.... ) I was a girl right out of college...who landed her "dream" job... working on a cruise ship.. (Never mind I was a Poly Sci, & German major with a minor in International Relations) I knew I wanted to get out of Iowa/Illinois & travel... because that is really the only thing (besides being a mommy) I have ever wanted to do. I was only going for one contract... 6 months, or so I told my college sweetheart when I left. 6 months turned into a year...& next thing I knew I met this adorable Norwegian Boy who would change my life F O R E V E R... With 6 weeks left on ...

I will keep this short but sweet... on the way home from work I was just milling over the day... it was SOO Norwegian. Woke up this morning 4:45 to a bright mid day sun...stumbled down the stairs to get my coffee going , look out the window only to find a FLOCK OF S EAGULLS attacking my garbage can... OK.. not these guys, althou gh they could have been fun to have a cup of coffee with... but these little bastards... Garbage ALL OVER THE STREET. Seeing as there are only 3 houses on the street thus far, there was no way I was going to be able to pretend that it was someone else . So out I go, in my jammies ... with my bed head, (broad day light) picking up my garbage... Can't you just see the neighbors talking about the crazy American chic out in the street again? This of course, puts me way behind schedule ... as I have a very important meeting with my boss who was coming in from the other side of the Fjord for a meeting. yodel ye who who..... Drag my kiddies out of bed to get th...

Yippee.... I am going home... Not right now, & not forever... But soon... soon enough to start counting down... & dammit... I am E X C I T E D! 6 weeks... & counting.. I have kept myself from getting too excited thus far... because home felt a long way off... but now...Woo hoo . (I know I am a total dork) Everyone at work has been asking about my vacation... (most of Norway shuts down during July so everyone can take a vacation...) When I talk about going HOME... I just start beaming. We are flying into Chicago to stay with my baby sister. This will be a first time trip for my hubby & kids, & I need to plan some things to show them besides all of the really great bars mommy used to hang out in . I am meeting up with my BESTEST friend from college Sean... who is going to host a little gathering of all of my buddies from WIU . Then it is off to beautiful Kansas City.. (the city of fountains... only Rome has more)Where I will get to see the rest of my family & the...

So today was my day off... Joke...Big Joke. feel like I need to go to work just to get a break. (remember I bitch... that's just what I do) Hubby was off AGAIN....this morning to Dubai...last week it was Holland... What i wouldn't give just to get out of Fredrikstad . (6 weeks & counting USA baby) So I thought it would be nice to spend the day with my little Princess... (i worked last night & was too tire d to get her ready for preschool...) had a few errands to run, then thought we would have some girl time. However Dane's school called again... second time in less than a week.. His eyes were starting to swell. Not sure what is going on, but he has been having a terrible time with allergies this year. Seriously... when his eyes start swelling, it looks like he has been beaten with a ball bat. (Cute...great for pictures) So...off to the Dr. Dane finally agreed to get a blood test done so they could see what is really going on. Figured since the day was pretty much ...

OK.. so I have a He-Man hair do... and hooker boobs. (that is Jill's, I was calling them stripper boobs... but she may be right...) but really, what do I have to bitch about? I was in a total funk Sunday & Monday... just miserable, homesick & bitchy... I wrote a post about missing my girlfriends... Sex in the City & all of the things I missed about home.. (pedicures, lunch out with the girls etc.) Before posting... I hoped over to a few other blogs to see what they were up to, then I read Karey's Love letter blog... about being homesick.. Mack Ink That girl just puts everything into perspective. I am B L E S S E D... I do realize that... really, bitching is just part of my personality... I fear silence... so I bitch. Things to be thankful about living in Norway... (I need to give myself pep talks about once a week to keep myself sane) *My husband getting a job on land where he is finally a real daddy/husband... not one who pops in every 3-4 months. I was a little w...

OMG... I had the same hair do 35 years ago... Change much? Like the recent photo? Taken on my I PHONE... save yo ur money..

Quote from the little guy himself... "mom... this is the best day EVER" The concert was a HUGE success... We both had a blast. From the moment we left for the concert Dane kept talking about meeting Madcon... a group playing at the concert.... I kept telling him not to get his hopes up after all... there would be thousands of people there... and I wasn't sure how close we would be able to get. During the drive I told him stories of how my best friend Kelly & I would go to concerts & try to do the same thing... get down to the first row... or even better back stage... Seeing as the apple doesn't follow too far from the tree... Dane started devising his own little plan to meet Madcon... To make a long story short, Dane had told one of the camera guys he had come from America to see Madcon & wondered if he knew him... the guy said he would see what he could do. Next thing I know... one of the guys from Madcon (Tshawe) walks out on stage to do a sound check. (...