Big date & my A-Ha moment


I have a big date planned this weekend with the cutest guy I know. My son. We are off to a big all day concert with 8 Norwegian bands. (See I am trying...) CC8 Concert
It is for families, & originally I had hoped that it would be the 4 of us... but hubby wasn't too keen on the idea as he wants to get the house painted before we go to the states... whatever.
When I told my son I still had to work on getting daddy to go he said... " mom, I was hoping it could be just the two of us... kinda like a mother & son date... what do you think?" What do I think? I think he is the cutest kid ever... & screw daddy... lets take off for the day just the two of us.
Now to be honest, I am not sure if he really just wants the time with me, OR if he just didn't want his sister to go... regardless... it has been a l o n g time since the two of us have been on a date.
As I was driving home from dropping the kiddies off this morning, I was thinking to myself... gosh I REALLY want this to work out ... I really just want/need to have the best day EVER with Dane. Things between the 2 of us have been strained since we moved to Norway. I think we have always butted heads, probably because we are so much a like... but it has been worse the past 2 years. Seeing as he is my first born...I don't know what the hell I am doing. Why does he get so angry at me? Is it the age what? we used to be so close...He blames me for E V E R Y T H I N G. For the first 1.5 years here he blamed ME for the move... HELLO?... i sure as hell didn't want to move here... why not blame his dad? Then I had my A-HA moment..... We USED to be so close. For 5 years it was just US... For the first 5 years of his life, daddy was still off sailing around the world. We would be gone for 3 months home for 3... most often he was home only 2 because of some crisis, he would have to leave early.
We did EVERYTHING together... I threw the kid in my baby carrier and we were off, Texas, Norway, Canada, Miami,... we were the gruesome twosome.. Just mom & Dane ...until the week before kindergarten... little Eva Gabrielle showed up. Poor guy.. he had a year getting used to her, before he was uprooted & moved to Norway... had a year in Norway & then daddy decided to stop sailing. So now not only did he have to share me with Eva... but now he had to share me with daddy too...
BINGO that is it.... he is pissed that it isn't just the two of us anymore. Everything in his life is so much more complicated than it was when it was just US...
i know this sounds like a very simple thing to figure out... but I have been banging my head against the wall for the past 2 years to figure out what it was... then this morning it was right there....
dammit... no matter what.. this will be the best date ever.... i will not worry about Eva or what is going on at home... I will not worry about what time it is, or where we need to be... I am just going to spend the entire day with the cutest guy I know.

Thanks for the free therapy : )

Comments

Christelle said…
That's so sweet! I'm having a son (any time now actually) and he's my first baby. This was a really inspiring post for me to read :)
Jill said…
My daughter is having mild anxiety about our next move to India... At 5 she's already afraid that her friends we just left (in Israel) are going to forget her.

She keeps stating that we're moving because of daddy's job... I don't know if she says it because she understands it or because she already has disdain for daddy's job.

I love "dates" with my kids. It makes the time with each of them individually so special.
karey m. said…
this was lovely.

the sharing thing is the hardest part, isn't it?

can you imagine him telling his own kids about your dates? what a nice memory you just gave him {and he gave you, too.}...
Debz said…
Aw, its nice that he wanted to spend the day with you. Even if it was that he DIDN'T want Eva to be there - it still meant he wanted to be with just you. I think thats important - one on one days.

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